'Nowheretoday'
We are having the same day. It all unfolded like a bomb yesterday. I didn't know how deep the lies went. I accepted the lies because I see his pain. It's all lies, years, he admits he even lies to himself doesn't know the truth himself, is trying to change, but it's a relationship built on lies/manipulation on his side and extreme honesty and love/compassionate on mine. Always careful to not impose my will even as requests. I'm to trusting and I love him even with the lies. I'm trying to decide the solution right now.
Knowing they are sick and hurting if I'm not there to help I'm not loving them as best I can. Besides truth is I will always love them completely no matter what. Love is permanent once I love no going back. Can I even bare to not have them in my life?
Seems like a lesson I was supposed to learn from my past with my father....
But I cannot seem to see the solution. He wasn't protected(unspeakable things endured as a boy) I can't leave him unprotected, alone, unloved.
But then who protects me.
Sorry you have experienced this. I'm 36 hours in and of all the things I've endured in my past, this is the worst. I can't even cry, I just want to throw up, it burns inside I can't even describe it. Having to decide whether to save yourself or the one who showed you the face of God. Unconditional love. Knowing I won't be able to handle either decision. There is acceptance but loving and missing someone from a far knowing you left them alone unsafe unloved, or furthering your own wound. Acceptance doesn't really make either of those ok.
I'd say it's god's grace you posted this. I was just googling hangmans nooses.
I am not depressed I understand it's a lesson, its meant to be, and that action would just cause more harm, just there is no choice that fits here. I won't but the thought made me feel free for a moment. I needed a moment of not feeling this.
I hope you get your answer, though I don't think many truely can relate but perhaps Ra has said something. God be with you..
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We are having the same day. It all unfolded like a bomb yesterday. I didn't know how deep the lies went. I accepted the lies because I see his pain. It's all lies, years, he admits he even lies to himself doesn't know the truth himself, is trying to change, but it's a relationship built on lies/manipulation on his side and extreme honesty and love/compassionate on mine. Always careful to not impose my will even as requests. I'm to trusting and I love him even with the lies. I'm trying to decide the solution right now.
Knowing they are sick and hurting if I'm not there to help I'm not loving them as best I can. Besides truth is I will always love them completely no matter what. Love is permanent once I love no going back. Can I even bare to not have them in my life?
Seems like a lesson I was supposed to learn from my past with my father....
But I cannot seem to see the solution. He wasn't protected(unspeakable things endured as a boy) I can't leave him unprotected, alone, unloved.
But then who protects me.
Sorry you have experienced this. I'm 36 hours in and of all the things I've endured in my past, this is the worst. I can't even cry, I just want to throw up, it burns inside I can't even describe it. Having to decide whether to save yourself or the one who showed you the face of God. Unconditional love. Knowing I won't be able to handle either decision. There is acceptance but loving and missing someone from a far knowing you left them alone unsafe unloved, or furthering your own wound. Acceptance doesn't really make either of those ok.
I'd say it's god's grace you posted this. I was just googling hangmans nooses.
I am not depressed I understand it's a lesson, its meant to be, and that action would just cause more harm, just there is no choice that fits here. I won't but the thought made me feel free for a moment. I needed a moment of not feeling this.
I hope you get your answer, though I don't think many truely can relate but perhaps Ra has said something. God be with you..
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