Hope for a Lost Soul

[Thowie100]

Hey long time reader, first time poster.

My question is a tough one because i cant really ask it without telling you a bit about myself first. I found this body of work through David wilcock back in the early 2000's. I am a huge believer of synchronicty because of the constant affirmation i seem to get when i go about my daily routine. This material led me to believe i was a wanderer because i fit the description so vividly. One day i was sitting in the back seat of my friends truck, he just recently picked me up from sitting at home reading the Ra material. i closed my eyes and thought about how we are all one. It has never happened before this but while concentrating on that quote i could see a perfect circle in my minds eye, then i asked myself the question" am i really a wanderer"?

As i opened my eyes i looked out the window in front of me and the first thing i noticed was a mobile trailer, and on the front with big bold letters said "Wanderer".

I have refused to believe that this was just a coincidence and after that life altering moment i notice the momentary synchronicities from time to time. Since then i have dedicated my life to being the best and highest i can be and to try to alleviate my karma i built up for myself. I consider myself to be an honest person with good morals and have been trying to erase hatred from my life or at least reason with it when it is present.
But from experience it seems like everyone just wants a piece of me, 90% of the time its my money, ive been conned one too many times out of my money because im a trustworthy guy and what i have in abundance i dont mind sharing, except there is a fine line between sharing and someone taking advantage of the situation. This has lead me to be kind of greedy about who i let into my life but still i try not to play the victim and constantly practice forgiveness. I was born a few inches too short and because of this no girl wants to be with me for more than one night. This might also be because of my own insecurity about my height but i see myself as a confident person. This, in turn has led me to pursue my music. Its all i really feel i own of value in this quiet existance.

All i see everywhere is hate, everywhere i look, hate for my fellow humans, people hating themselves. No one seems to get the bigger picture. Its like we live in a constant state of amnesia and even when there are injustices in the world they are forgotten about in a week or so and nobody questions anything.

Anyways to cut a long story short i was wondering if planet earth really is hopeless? I know that there are a ton of good people on this planet and i chose to come here to spread love and joy but i am deeply sickened by what i have seen in this relatively short time i have been breathing.