Should I take antibiotics?

[sjel]

I've been pretty sick the past five days, past the point of a normal sore throat cold. I think it's a spiritual sickness. I'm in great despair. I also don't understand why, because last week was one of the best weeks of my life. I was radiating pure joy to the kids I work with. Then, the day after the work week ended, I woke up instantly sicker than I've been in two years. And stayed that way since then.

I don't think antibiotics would help, because I believe that this is the manifestation of my deep down spirit sickness. Actually I think antibiotics might hurt. But I don't know what to do.

I'm also caught in great despair. Deep darkness, colors are faded. Paranoid. When I meditate my mind is shrouded in heavy grey fog. When I turn on the faucet I hear quiet murmurings in the water.

I went straight from the best week in a long time to the worst. What the heck. At least my dreams are nice, they leave me with a good feeling that maybe I'm accomplishing something through this. But the feeling doesn't last long. My guides are silent. They seem to always have been but I thought maybe they would reassure me when I'm weakest. Maybe I'm not weakest yet. Help. Sorry I always ask for help. I feel absolutely alone however. Desolate.