Are you afraid of death?

[Nicholas]

I also wanna point out, to whoever's reading this, that I absolutely do not consent to any type of medical, psychological, or occult experimentation, and I don't consent to any damage done to my body, or to any type of physical or psychological torture, training, or conditioning, and that I want to be left alone.

I never intentionally consented, and in cases where I didn't consent, and was attacked regardless, I want to make that clear, as well as in all future cases.

I want to be left alone, and to leave others alone. Keep it up and I'll make sure you regret it.

But don't keep it up. Stop and leave me alone.

Hey Mahakali,

I understand the feeling of being backed into a corner all too well. I have no idea what you are going through but it sounds like you are being overly subjective.Your attempts to convey it through written words, via this medium, really does not touch base with your actual experience. I get that. I was attacked with a wood chopping axe in my sleep many years ago so I understand being in total shock and trauma

You can contact me via pm if you want to, whatever you prefer, it's just that I know it is therapeutic to share personal stuff without being judged. My mom is beyond reach at the moment (totally paranoid) and she has nobody else in her life but me. I am going to give her a call tomorrow, but it might be another draining experience.

Mahakali, this is a safe place to park your baggage. This world, the carnage, the insanity, can become weary. On the one hand we are all innocent, yet on the other, every single one of us has blood on our hands in the wider picture. Literally next door to our flat  I was standing outside our local Indian restaurant and I wondered what my Karmic responsibilities were. I immediately looked across the road and on a telegraph pole I noticed this sign.



"Oh s***"

I kid you not, that was my first reaction. We were having a meal at the Indian restaurant next door to our flat (I was smoking a cigarette outside while waiting for the main meal) and my curiosity led me to looking at this image on a telegraph pole on the other side of the road. "Who did I kill?" This was my interpretation of it.I have no clue to be honest, anyway, I just wanted to share that with you. I have blood on my hands, too.

Anyways, another attempt to identify with you is that my peers were travelling Gypsies and I grew up with them in Waltham cross, Greater London. It was a pretty run down council estate and the only way to be accepted was to scrap (fight). They were Irish gypsies and scrapping was how you earned respect. I used to scrap with a kid called Scott, he was the same age as me and I kept on beating him up. We were pushed into it and if you showed fear you would be bullied for it. One day his brothers wanted retribution and they grabbed hold of me and held me against the railings on a bridge, so Scott could duff me up. I got lucky and escaped, but a few years later we met again in high school (Scott got the better of me that time so it felt like closure on the issue ). 

You know what I am on about here, you have to survive, right? I did not want to fight, but in order to be accepted you had  to do something that was entertaining.

Through and beyond high school I realised that I would get attention by being seemingly ballsy, when it was just silly and cowardly really. Real courage is to push the energy higher and resist the fight/flight mindlessness. And so folks used to dare me to do stuff, and usually I would do it. I climbed to the top of a pylon as one example, as I identified with being the entertainer. Anyway that's enough of my anecdotes. You get what I am trying to say.

This is a safe place. As well as a place to explore non physical phenomena, nobody here wishes you any harm, bad lack or anything that does not promote healing. What we wish for you is quite the opposite! But I have seen what happens with my own eyes to folks who refuse to heal. The paranoia, the mistrust, the distrust, the isolation, the biting at people who care about them because of the paranoia. It's not easy to keep your heart open (to remain unafraid and non judgemental) when dense projections are being aimed at you, but the only way to heal is to accept the buck of responsibility and not put out into the world what belongs to us. What we planned on the other side of the veil made sense, where we were born and to whom, our skill set. As for the negative creations in time space, it does not exist in my world because that just feeds it. We always have a choice what to think upon, and we can visualise nice warm chicken soup and a cosy room by the ocean after we die. That's the power of our thoughts as that is what we will create for ourselves if that is our preference. So neggie leaning discarnate others can keep their seeds of fear and falsity. I just turn them into magic love dust and blow it towards them wishing them well. You have that power within you, too, to turn any of your reality into a positive and reject what does not promote your healing. 

As I said, you can chew my ears off in private, if you prefer. Or we can just let it all hang out in public, in this safe place  

You have joined Bring4th, Mahakali, therefore you qualify as an equal member, and of course you are just as free to depart. But as you have chosen to remain I feel it is worthwhile to share a little of myself, and to offer you confidence that there are too many kind and self aware souls here for any rotten eggs to get past our collective armoury of L/L. Even if they did, we can soon turn it into a golden one!

Be well and rest safely.



P.S. The fluffy heart emoticon equates to a hug, btw. No fluff intended.