10-22-2016, 01:43 AM
all right ... i have a whole night/morning to myself, so as promised:
I'm not sure. The anger was with anyone channeled other than Ra, and when i started the transcripts again after fiddling in these forums, i noticed it was gone.
As far as whether "what is suggested is not consistent with the content of your own experience," so far, it is ... very much so. That may actually be part of what bothers me. It ties so much so completely together, that something in me doesn't trust it. Half of me is "remembering that this is true" and nodding along in agreement, while the other half seems to be grasping me firmly and saying in a stern voice "careful, it's a trap. learn it from the outside, but don't lock yourself inside."
Ah. Thank you for taking me there. I had a flash while typing the above, and I'm pretty sure i understand the 'stern voice' now. It's just a warning that completely subscribing to any system in its entirety gives would-be enemies a map to study ... a 'window into your head' so to speak, and a tool with which to predict your movements. "Be formless and adaptive," that same voice says.
Hmm. Maybe.
I think from "inside the illusion of time" building or sculpturing definitely applies, but i sort of see it and feel it more as: "building a bridge or channel into that illusion for the part of myself that is already One to cross and work through at will and with ease."
I actually had an ... ?insight ... ?communication ... that was directly related to this less than two days ago:
I'm not supposed to have a permanent awakening; at least, not yet. I have ... ?work to do? that requires me to enter situations with certain prejudices and ... ?mindsets? at various times and places. I've been aware of this since my early teens, but only occasionally remember. There are actually several points in time i clearly remember choosing to "step into the fog" in preparation for something i knew was coming or wanted to accomplish. Another example: I recently came across an old journal entry in which i'd written: "you won't remember any of this later. you have to do something, and you won't believe any of it while it's happening if you remember this;" when i read it, i remembered (and could see in the events of the several following years) that i 'knew' that some illusions and self-deceptions are necessary to even conceive of (much less have) certain desires, motivations, and/or experiences.
There's also a frequent state i call "moments of clarity," in which i know and remember exactly who/what i am. I can feel a direct connection to "my true self" which is indistinguishable from everything else. There is no doubt at these times, just feeling and certainty ... but later, when the mindstate has passed, the entire experience seems silly and overly hopeful. I think an "awakening" would be that state permanently.
There is a song by The Church called "Feel" that makes me remember it vaguely every time i hear it.
(10-06-2016, 04:53 PM)third-density-being Wrote: I’m wondering what exactly is the nature of your anger at this Material? Is it because presented concepts angry You in some way? Or maybe because what is suggested is not consistent with the content of your own experience?
I'm not sure. The anger was with anyone channeled other than Ra, and when i started the transcripts again after fiddling in these forums, i noticed it was gone.
As far as whether "what is suggested is not consistent with the content of your own experience," so far, it is ... very much so. That may actually be part of what bothers me. It ties so much so completely together, that something in me doesn't trust it. Half of me is "remembering that this is true" and nodding along in agreement, while the other half seems to be grasping me firmly and saying in a stern voice "careful, it's a trap. learn it from the outside, but don't lock yourself inside."
Ah. Thank you for taking me there. I had a flash while typing the above, and I'm pretty sure i understand the 'stern voice' now. It's just a warning that completely subscribing to any system in its entirety gives would-be enemies a map to study ... a 'window into your head' so to speak, and a tool with which to predict your movements. "Be formless and adaptive," that same voice says.
(10-06-2016, 04:53 PM)third-density-being Wrote:(09-25-2016, 04:33 PM)OpalE Wrote: (...)
Rather than an "awakening," i feel (more and more) that i'm collecting a deeper and somehow permanent knowledge of .. my own identity(?). This is a patient thing, not urgent (though it was VERY urgent in my teens/twenties).
(...)
May word/label/symbol “collecting” be replaced with “building” or “sculpturing” from the point of view of your Understanding / the way You approach Self/Other Self/Creation?
Hmm. Maybe.
I think from "inside the illusion of time" building or sculpturing definitely applies, but i sort of see it and feel it more as: "building a bridge or channel into that illusion for the part of myself that is already One to cross and work through at will and with ease."
(10-06-2016, 04:53 PM)third-density-being Wrote:
Literally a moment ago a thought approached me regarding your “two ways” situation.
Thought content: If you were a Wanderer of the Ra Social Memory Complex You might would have some issues with this Material. I have no idea what kind of issues though. Glitch-like maybe?
I actually had an ... ?insight ... ?communication ... that was directly related to this less than two days ago:
I'm not supposed to have a permanent awakening; at least, not yet. I have ... ?work to do? that requires me to enter situations with certain prejudices and ... ?mindsets? at various times and places. I've been aware of this since my early teens, but only occasionally remember. There are actually several points in time i clearly remember choosing to "step into the fog" in preparation for something i knew was coming or wanted to accomplish. Another example: I recently came across an old journal entry in which i'd written: "you won't remember any of this later. you have to do something, and you won't believe any of it while it's happening if you remember this;" when i read it, i remembered (and could see in the events of the several following years) that i 'knew' that some illusions and self-deceptions are necessary to even conceive of (much less have) certain desires, motivations, and/or experiences.
There's also a frequent state i call "moments of clarity," in which i know and remember exactly who/what i am. I can feel a direct connection to "my true self" which is indistinguishable from everything else. There is no doubt at these times, just feeling and certainty ... but later, when the mindstate has passed, the entire experience seems silly and overly hopeful. I think an "awakening" would be that state permanently.
There is a song by The Church called "Feel" that makes me remember it vaguely every time i hear it.