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[sjel]

Sjel you been ok brother? How has life been? you feeling anymore grounded? Anymore awesome experiences?

well I made this track a few days ago: https://soundcloud.com/sjel-1/elorien and I think it's been strongly affecting me subconsciously. It's the type of atmosphere I'm longing, longing, longing for. I want a woodsy place to make music and commune with nature and friends.

today I went to tutoring center extremely distant, detached from the human reality. My inner thoughts were Loud, my inner chatter seemed more random, and it seemed like it was on the threshold of being audible. Any louder and it felt like other people would be able to hear it. On the bike ride there I was praying and meditating and trying to focus all of my energies on being able to help the kids learn about life and about math. Then by "coincidence" it turned out it was fall break so there were very few students. A gift from above, because I do not think I could have handled a large influx of energy. And then I slowly integrated into other-oriented atmosphere (for most of the weekend I've been completely isolated). Then I got really depressed when the day was over because I felt like I was completely useless when I didn't have anybody to teach. And now I feel better. I'm so glad I didn't call in sick. But man, my mental state is fluctuating so wildly.

Thanks Infinite Unity. How has your energy been affecting you??