Do you have polarity?

[Jade]

I'm certainly positive but I'm strangely shifting.

I from early childhood have been willing to martyr my own needs and emotions for anyone, even those who were strangers or did me wrong. It seems now I am becoming more comfortable receiving though, that still is and has always been quite hard for me. I don't like to take.

I'm learning sometimes letting someone serve me is actually a way to provide service. It's still quite hard and not because of any feelings of unworthiness just an aversion I've developed.

It's very strange. lol still positive but oddly less sto strictly somehow, yet it still seems like an increase in positivity. Law of confusion.

What you are describing is as one moves out of the martyr vibration, they begin to open the blue ray and recognition of the self as a co-creator. Hence the blue ray is a refinement of the selfless love of the fourth chakra, the invoking of wisdom that you describe that allows you to use the green ray more effectively and with less detriment to the self.