Handling Fears

[Billy]

I feel you Gemini, I have lots of fear as well and they do have quite a large influence on my life.  It is so disheartening and frustrating knowing that they keep me from discovering the fulfillment and beauty I desire.  I think my biggest fear must be the fear that I will never conquer my fears and will remain stuck running around in circles forever and ever.  It induces a real sense of panic in me, and makes me just want to hide and sleep.  I feel like I have been repeating the same mistakes ad infinitum, despite knowing the consequences.  I think that what Night Owl said about expressing your fears is good advice and will probably go a long way in healing them.  If only I could do that.  

mind if i ask how often do you meditate, Billy?

Not very, although I have been trying to meditate daily as of late.  It has been hit or miss.  I used to meditate daily and I was quite proficient at it.  I would meditate in the morning and night, usually without fail, but I couldn't maintain it.  I was expecting results from it (i.e. new insights, new perspectives, a new way of being basically) and when it 'seemed' that those things weren't occurring, I gave it up.  I also tend to get stuck on the 'best' way of meditating but I know there is no such thing and it is the intention that counts.