what is accepting catalyst vs acting on catalyst?

[Sacred Fool]

Sorry to read of your stagnation and distress.  It might be of some use to confer with yourself on the following topic: how would this being desire to grow and how to flower?  What aspects of self would be most meaningful to explore and develope as an offering to the One Creator?  

This is not necessarily an easy thing to discover on your own...you might need a little assistance. 

Wholehearted visions of that sort might give you some sense of a better place to invest your energies.  Perhaps then you can find a wormhole to lead you there?