07-18-2016, 08:56 AM
It sounds like a reaction to the idealized gender stereotypes constantly foisted upon us by our culture in the media and advertising. Traumatic experiences tend to leave a person feeling vulnerable and strengthen the reliance upon cultural acceptance.
I would wager a guess that you feel alone in life, unable to relate closely to anyone, and because of this you look for things in yourself that make you culturally unacceptable, hoping you can "fix" yourself and therefore make the loneliness go away. I would wager that your root issue is fear of being alone/not being accepted by society, which would involve all the lower chakras to a greater or lesser degree, particularly yellow, which deals with the social self.
I would wager a guess that you feel alone in life, unable to relate closely to anyone, and because of this you look for things in yourself that make you culturally unacceptable, hoping you can "fix" yourself and therefore make the loneliness go away. I would wager that your root issue is fear of being alone/not being accepted by society, which would involve all the lower chakras to a greater or lesser degree, particularly yellow, which deals with the social self.