I don't think you're f***** up! I also don't think you're raping your subconscious. (A prostitute is not being raped.) I think it's a very strange and subtle thing, and I can see how it can seem sexist and confusing, it makes more sense within the whole of the archetypical journey. Again, you are assuming that the unconscious mind needs this courting, but you only choose to court it because it is that which you are in love with, and courting it/spending time getting to know it is what brings you pleasure. And my point is that, are you really sure you know your unconscious mind? Have you completely removed the veil? I was under the impression that I was in a life-long journey of gradually lowering the veil with each new day. There are many surprises to be had yet ahead, I believe.
Again, in the mind cycle it's about intention - do you want to see your unconscious resources as something to be revered, respected, treated holy and sacramental, as we traditionally do the "virgin female"? Because, if that is how you treat yourself and the resources of others, that is how they will return in kind to treat you. And the male energy does have to make an effort to prove itself, because he is the one doing the "reaching". So by nature it is "his" job to act, and prove to the unconscious mind that it will use its sacred, higher-vibrational energies in a sacred and high vibrational way. If you're going to use it in a sacramental way, and then tomorrow use it in a blase/plundering way, you haven't properly dedicated yourself to the "maiden", which is an analogy for the path of STS or STO.
I feel like we may be projecting the gender role of "weak" upon one or the other gender, and assuming that in this analogy that the unconscious mind and all otherselves are this fragile little flower that must be coddled so that it doesn't break or lose control, or that there is some form of manipulation inherent in "courting" by the male because he is not worthy in his own right. Again, it's about putting "them" upon such a high pedestal that all of our efforts go to offering ourselves, everything we have or can be, to please "them". Learning tenderness and compassion do go very far in 3D. As Q'uo calls is, using the "listening heart".
Again, in the mind cycle it's about intention - do you want to see your unconscious resources as something to be revered, respected, treated holy and sacramental, as we traditionally do the "virgin female"? Because, if that is how you treat yourself and the resources of others, that is how they will return in kind to treat you. And the male energy does have to make an effort to prove itself, because he is the one doing the "reaching". So by nature it is "his" job to act, and prove to the unconscious mind that it will use its sacred, higher-vibrational energies in a sacred and high vibrational way. If you're going to use it in a sacramental way, and then tomorrow use it in a blase/plundering way, you haven't properly dedicated yourself to the "maiden", which is an analogy for the path of STS or STO.
I feel like we may be projecting the gender role of "weak" upon one or the other gender, and assuming that in this analogy that the unconscious mind and all otherselves are this fragile little flower that must be coddled so that it doesn't break or lose control, or that there is some form of manipulation inherent in "courting" by the male because he is not worthy in his own right. Again, it's about putting "them" upon such a high pedestal that all of our efforts go to offering ourselves, everything we have or can be, to please "them". Learning tenderness and compassion do go very far in 3D. As Q'uo calls is, using the "listening heart".