Betrayal Catalyst

[Lovelyfaith]

You spoke that your soul chose the catalyst of betrayal, what do you believe are the lessons you are set to learn?

It does seem to me you surely are not here to work on being more loving, as that seems to be quite strong already despite the circumstances you spoke of.

I suppose I was just assuming it's betrayal, considering it's been the theme of my life from my perspective.  My dad carried on an inappropriate relationship with me at the age of 4 and abandoned me and my brothers at 8, and my mom is a compulsive liar and narcissist that refuses to have a normal healthy relationship with me.  So that, coupled with the fact that of the very few intimate relationships that I've built in my life, I've been betrayed by every boyfriend and female friend that I've had.  I have no problem with forgiving, I wonder though if it really just boils down to self love.

Could this be to teach you both to want and be able to take care of yourself or just care for yourself?

i.e. to not put others above your own well being

I am starting to think there are many lessons that could be learned with all of this. It's hard to see the lesson when in a negative vibration, it's so hard to look at it from the outside, it feels like there is a dark grey cloud surrounding me that makes it hard to focus on anything except for what I am sad about. I think that's the depression. When I'm having a good day, I can see it from different angles and can see what good these lessons can bring. I think that I've just been through a lot and probably have pushed a lot down. I know going through a spiritual awakening can pull things out of your sub-conscious that you haven't thought about for a while. It's just been a bit much lately, someone the other day mentioned 'dark night of the soul', and that sounds about right. I keep drawing the devil tarot card with the moon, so it makes sense.