Betrayal Catalyst

[Lovelyfaith]

Can you step out and say to family that you do aura cleansing?

Do you think an aura cleansing would help? Wish we lived in the future and this was free, money is tight.

I hate to even post, I'm sure it looks like I am needing attention, please don't reply anyone, I am not wanting attention, but I feel like I need to get some of this out of me, I find myself hiding away to cry for no reason and nobody around understands or cares, my husband would rather me slap on a fake smile than talk about my problems, my heart is so heavy, my head hurts. I wish I could give up, I feel so stuck. I can't leave him, its not me. I can't do that to them. I have tried with every piece of me to be positive and get my mind off things, but i'm either numb or crying, or smiling for my family so that they don't have to have their day ruined, I've ruined a lot of them. And then I get anxious that my energy is bad and start to worry that I'm manifesting more depression and that makes it worse by the guilt, I am putting my family through so much because I just can't get a grip. I feel like such an incredible burden. If I could just be happy and not let this stuff get to me our lives would be so much better. If I was good at my job and wasn't so anxious talking to people we would have more money and they would be able to have more money to do things. I have an insurance policy right now that could make me money but I am too afraid to call my customer because I have the worst social anxiety and he makes me feel so small and stupid and I really can't handle that right now, I've been shaking for the last hour knowing I need to call him. And nobody understands how that feels, to be afraid to call anyone, like a child, I can't help it, it's just that I always mess up when I talk, I forget things mid-sentence, I stutter. I feel utterly worthless.
If I kill myself I would leave my kids without a mom, and that would crush them. And my husband would have to struggle. So I'm stuck. Lemonade out of fruitcake. Nobody likes fruitcake. Sorry today is just a really hard day.