05-02-2016, 08:47 PM
(05-02-2016, 05:56 PM)anagogy Wrote:(05-02-2016, 11:31 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: No matter how hard I try, I can't get past the part of being worthy for higher density.
Does this mean that I'll experience a personal hell after this life?
If so, for how long?
While some souls do create a negative fake hells for themselves after death, I can tell you that you are simply nowhere in that category because you have acquired too much spiritual knowledge at this point in your incarnation to really get trapped in such a hollow hell after death. The souls that get temporarily trapped in those are people who were *extremely* narrow minded in life -- very low spiritual awareness. You are way too conscious for that to occur. You would recognize it as an illusion immediately. And if you are a wanderer, that goes for double.
(05-02-2016, 11:31 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: I sometimes come down hard on myself, and think I'm only worthy for hell.
Or more precisely, I think everyone else is worthy of heaven except me.
But I also know that heaven is not what we think it is. It is ever evolving, not a destination.
Why do I think I am so unworthy?
I think you are just having an off day. When one is in a bad mood (which is the result of sustained negative thought), everything is seen through the eyes of resistance. Just as our constant exposure to catalytic contrast builds up vibrational piles of identified "wanted aspects" due to our constant emitting of "preferences", we also simultaneously are building up vibrational piles of identified "unwanted aspects". You can't define wanted without simultaneously defining unwanted. That is duality. These need not be conscious, even unconscious preferences are still drawing this vibrational line in the sand. Anyway, my point is when you are in a vibrationally resistant place, you block the allowance of "what is wanted", and in so doing, you become aligned with those piles of "unwanted". A more easy way to understand this is it feels like life turns against you, or you start to have "really poor luck".
So the more out of alignment with wanted you become the more in alignment with unwanted, and vice versa. So the best thing to do is just take a breather and chill out. When you feel unworthy it is because you are focused on reasons that you've imagined you should feel unworthy for (things you feel guilty about). You need to train your focus on reasons why you should feel worthy, and you will start to feel emotional relief, signifying alignment with wanted. Or just meditate and stop thinking long enough to regain vibrational composure.
The universe doesn't want any being to suffer, experience personal hell, but it does want us to grow, and for growth to occur there has to be some type of definition between aversive/attractive. Else, there would be no movement of life. The universe wants you to seek well being and considers you an integral part of the whole, a portion of its own self, and it would never abandon you. In all cases when we feel abandoned, it is not the universe that has abandoned us, but rather, it is we who have abandoned the universe.
It is all forgiving, all loving, and only seeks to embrace us. And it never sees you as unworthy. The goal of life is to learn to see the illusion of separation through Source's eyes, which is to see the unity in all things. That is to say, it does not see the separation and thus, does not make it real.