Everything as Experience

[anagogy]

So we won't find Infinity to be stellar, but normal?
I don't find anything fantastic about my self/life.
My mom keeps cursing around me and it bothers me.
I feel like a servant to her, always doing what she says.
But it's usually chores that she asks me to do.
And to take her places.
I had to take her to Austin from San Antonio, about 2-hour trip one way.
At least I got to stay in the hotel.

If infinity is nothing special, I just don't know what to say.

All the stuff that surrounds us that seems not so stellar is similar to clouds covering the light of the sun.  The clouds that block the light are created by our thoughts.  When the clouds are no longer present, the sun, which is always shining whether the clouds are there or not, is revealed and shines down and illuminates the ground with its light.  The world looks a *lot* different on a bright sunny day than it does on a overcast cloudy day, even though it the same world, just in a different light.  

You have no control over the sun shining -- it is always shining regardless of what you do with your thoughts or not do with your thoughts, but to continue the metaphor, you do have control over the clouds that block it from illuminating the world.  I'm not saying its always easy. We are conditioned to keep creating those clouds, but you can learn to clear your mind, and little by little, you learn to hold onto that state.  Or rather, it would be more accurate to say: you unlearn the conditioning to not be in that state.  The sun shining is the natural, default condition.  The blocking of the sun is done by the behavior of the mind.

It is not that infinity isn't stellar, its that we are seeing infinity all the time, with varying degrees of clarity.  So to see more of infinity, you have to be more clear.  You do that by undoing the conditioning that keeps you out of the present moment.  It is a matter of moving your attention away from doing and thinking and more towards "being".  This gradually improves your ability to take in, or appreciate, more of the creators light.