Unresolved Self

[Fastidious Emanations]

You do not understand.
I accept everything for what is, existence's all the same no matter how different.
You need to try and gap the severity of this. I am not suffering, I am not afraid nor I am able to do anything beyond to my ability about this.
There is another mind/spirit/thought/being with its own awareness. That is what I mean by "negativity".

Do you mean that there may be an other entity/consciousness in you ?

Not precisely, I am in my own control/thought.
There's something else in what I can describe a parallel window/reality that collides with my own whenever I meditate.

do you ever think about him/her when not meditation?