'Past life integration"

[Adonai One]

Nearly 2 years ago I made an intent to see as many past lives as possible. This intent was coupled with a very loud hallucination of ringing in my right ear, inspired by the Ra material.

My mental health has since grown gradually unstable in this regard.

The results are as follows in the GREATEST SKEPTICISM, under the possibility of delusion:

- A constant growing subconcious yearning for wealth, servants, rooms larger than any home on the market; A great feeling of dissatisfaction with most of what is offered by society as subpar yet having never having experienced anything of such wealth in this life.

- A constant irrational, unlinkable subconscious desire to own large factories with many female workers despite no current practical reason to hold such; A constant crying, fear of harming workers under my care; A great feeling of trauma of not paying workers enough.

- A constant desire to become respected as a woman while being respected as a man in just as much.

- A constant feeling that I should be fatter while retaining a desire to be slim.

- Ambiguous flashbacks of struggling in warzones, especially trenches with a constant sense of doom; Especially occurring during night terrors.

- Growing desire for more land ownership.

- Constant subconscious calls to "serve my country" and a fear "of not serving my country enough" especially in a battlefield setting.

- Desires for pinker furniture, feminine perfumes, hairsprayed hair that I cannot possible satisfy.

The list goes on and on and on.

I can't explain it: I say this to only give you this warning; BE CAREFUL. The night terrors have gotten worse regarding the war stuff. If I am deluded, I somehow deluded myself into some weird occultist form of PTSD.

I f***** up, kiddos. I put too many chemicals together in the occultist chemistry set and now I am healing the burns.