Indeed, efforts to convince and persuade are control-based, and not of the STO path.
We are to offer but never to force. This can be challenging, but ultimately people are ready when they are ready, and not before. Trying to force can generate reactance (i.e., opposition) making the person more closed to the possibility of a new perspective than before.
Instead it may be helpful to ask, "why am I so invested in what this other person thinks or believes?" Letting go of that with unconditional acceptance of ourselves and the other, whether right or wrong, can be helpful.
Although we often think we're right and they're wrong, it's helpful to recognize that even our amazing spiritual enlightenment is about 10% truth and 90% distortion, on a good day. The difference between our 10% and the other person's, say, 9.99% is not that great for us to think ourselves right and them wrong.
We are to offer but never to force. This can be challenging, but ultimately people are ready when they are ready, and not before. Trying to force can generate reactance (i.e., opposition) making the person more closed to the possibility of a new perspective than before.
Instead it may be helpful to ask, "why am I so invested in what this other person thinks or believes?" Letting go of that with unconditional acceptance of ourselves and the other, whether right or wrong, can be helpful.
Although we often think we're right and they're wrong, it's helpful to recognize that even our amazing spiritual enlightenment is about 10% truth and 90% distortion, on a good day. The difference between our 10% and the other person's, say, 9.99% is not that great for us to think ourselves right and them wrong.
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