Letting go of the Law of One, Sorry.

[Parsons]

It really saddens me to hear you are in this state of mind. I wish I knew how to help more directly but I can see many of the concepts that bring me peace you see in a negative light. So I don't think sharing any more concepts that bring me great comfort would really help since the ones I already shared seem to bring greater confusion.

I can only share my experience when I was in a very similar state of mind. I assure you, I was quite mentally/emotionally wounded at one time and had a similar state of mind as you. I can't stress enough that my feelings of despair about the messed up state of the world / universe were a projection of my own messed up mental/emotional state. I thought I desperately wanted to heal a dysfunctional world when I really wanted to desperately heal my dysfunctional psyche. That MUST be your first priority. You can't save the world / the creation if you can't save yourself. I am not saying this to blame you or hurt you or look down on you. I say this because I badly want you to heal yourself.

I know it seems "too simple" or you may simply not want to do it, but I would highly recommend seeing a therapist/psychologist of some kind. They may not have all the answers or be able to fully understand your state of mind or worldview, but I think they could at least get you on the right track. I saw like 4 or 5 over the years and didn't find them to be directly helpful, but they were at least a sort of 'sounding board' (for lack of a better term) that allowed me to slowly but surely heal myself.