Am I a Nihilist Athiest Spiritualist?

[Minyatur]

I carry crystals to mix with my vibrations. On shrooms I pick different ones on trips to connect with their energies in nature or charge them with my energy. Or I simply lay out my hand and charge them from times to times when i feel called to. Otherwise they're either on me or placed in 2 geometric grids I made with them.

Sometimes there are some that seem to want to be away from me, like I keep dropping it and when it drops it gets somehow far from me or hidden and hard to find. Got a green calcite I lost two times for several months and it ended up breaking into two pieces two days ago.