"good works for the wrong reasons"

[Minyatur]

Interesting, Elros!  Maybe you were one of the 4Ds Ra referred to that voluntarily allowed themselves to turn Negative specifically for the service opportunities it presented.

Personally, I know very little about my existences prior to this incarnation.  My awakening was philosophical, not historical.  In fact, for a long time I've had a very strong feeling that I'm supposed to have forgotten, and I just have no real inclination to dig into it.  Whatever I used to be, I'll find out again eventually.  Sometimes I suspect this means I was either Really Good or Really Bad (so to speak) in past incarnations.  I could see it being either.  Or maybe even both.

In the meantime, I think one reason I'm here in this life is specifically to figure out who I am now without regard to past choices.

Last part is very true, I have no desires within myself to become STS again. The veil is a wonderful tool to figure what you truly desire.

Digging into feelings is how I remember, I don't feel so many things toward my life on this planet but have channeled strong and deep rooted emotions from within my soul toward things that have nothing to do with this place.

Ra for example is one I have found within myself deep love and hatred for. Hatred seemed to be related to mutual misunderstandings across the two paths and that his light and love has hurt so many I have known across time. Like I said, STO is negative to STS. The light makes darkness apparent and  darkness makes light brigther.

In my view the two paths are nothing but mirrors unto one another.