Non-sober Meditations

[APeacefulWarrior]

By downloads, are you referring to sometimes when you just "get it" and understand something?
Is it like a form of claircognizance (clear knowing)?

In my case (I can't speak for anyone else) there are actual sensations involved. I feel like I am being filled, like my spirit is a water balloon getting put under a faucet. My soul expands. And as it happens, depending on the level of intensity, I can feel my own personality shift as my 3D ego becomes mixed together with the identities and perspectives of the higher-selves taking part in this little game.

The tricky part -and why this is hard to explain- is that the sense of "I" is uninterrupted. This isn't like a channeling, where the channel's personality "switches off" and they lose memory of what the body does. My everyday 3D ego has to voluntarily let go of what it believes to be itself, and simply accept\love the new, bigger, slightly-alien personality that's taking its place, without fully vanishing. It doesn't go away, exactly, but it sort of gets... pushed to the rear, I guess. That personality is still aware, but no longer demands direct control of the body. It becomes only part of the larger gestalt personality, rather than the focus, with my body responding to the larger group decisions/vibrations being made.

My body's ego has to be almost entirely focused on maintaining the transmission to\from my higher-selves, for the transference to be stable. And that's why I generally need to be high to pull this off, since it's much harder to achieve that level of dissociation while sober. Even then, it's usually only for a few minutes. But, of course, my ultimate goal is to be able to reliably achieve that state while sober as well, although I suspect it will be years of (joyful, loving) work to get to that point, at the very least.