The Bad Mood

[Ankh]

One of the things I've been struggling with is how to deal positively with a negative or "grumpy" disposition.  To the extent I'm able to, I've taken these feelings into meditation.  I have faith they will yield fruit in the long run.  However, it still boggles my mind.

Sometimes it's easy to accept things, move on, and voilla! one's attitude is changed.  But it's just not always that easy.  And I'm afraid that it gets in the way of my day-to-day in a destructive way.

I used to think that "bad moods" were just the result of people not taking responsibility for themselves and their mindsets, or worse: that they were experiences we indulged to create victim mentalities that foist responsibility on others.  Now I'm not so sure; I don't seem to be able to sit with this long enough or deep enough to make any sort of semblance of sense out of it.  I'm in the dark, and it's just really lonely to feel this disconnected due to nothing else but affect.

What I'm looking for, it occurs to me, is a strategy to deal with this.  Is that even useful or appropriate, from a spiritual point of view?  Should I just tough it out, feel it completely, and accept whatever experiences, actions, and feelings it elicits?

I know there's no right answers here, I guess I'll pass the mic.

I totally understand what you mean! One of my toughest catalysts has been tiredness. When I am tired, it feels like my whole body is in actual, physical pain. I can't serve, nor think, nor feel any love or positivity. So, I've been thinking like you do above about this, because there are times when one is tired, but there is still third density job which needs to be done! Especially when you have kids. Aaaand some week ago, it hit me! "Do it anyway..." Feel love anyway. Serve anyway. Be positive anyway! Now, I know that it's difficult, or maybe even impossible to feel it when you are in a "bad mood", but that time, when it hit me - my heart completely opened up! I felt such a rush through me of positive energy! I would say that it was a spiritual, and transforming experience.

These days, it's not as easy to transform oneself into a positive vibration when one is in a "bad mood", as it was that time. But there are also other ways of "tuning oneself". There is constant seeking by prayers, meditations, contemplation, reading spiritual literature, etc. That which Carla talked a lot by calling it "tuning oneself". From my own, more intellectual point of view, having my heart open, and being "in tune" is a far more desired experience than when everything is closed down, and one is in a "bad mood". It is even painful to be in a bad mood! So, for me, it is worth that whatever mental or spiritual energy that one has to "pay" in order to transform oneself from this bad mood into a positive mood. It is not always I get there, but there is a constant trying... I guess it's also a matter of faith. Faith that "all is well".

From the point of meditations, I guess that one can sit with this bad mood, and hone this state of mind in an intensive way, deeply and deeply, until there is nothing there but a shining diamond. I guess that it would be the same approach to the bad mood as it is to anger in the Ra material:

"The entity polarizing positively perceives the anger. This entity, if using this catalyst mentally, blesses and loves this anger in itself. It then intensifies this anger consciously in mind alone until the folly of this red-ray energy is perceived not as folly in itself but as energy subject to spiritual entropy due to the randomness of energy being used.


Positive orientation then provides the will and faith to continue this mentally intense experience of letting the anger be understood, accepted, and integrated with the mind/body/spirit complex. The other-self which is the object of anger is thus transformed into an object of acceptance, understanding, and accommodation, all being reintegrated using the great energy which anger began.

The negatively oriented mind/body/spirit complex will use this anger in a similarly conscious fashion, refusing to accept the undirected or random energy of anger and instead, through will and faith, funneling this energy into a practical means of venting the negative aspect of this emotion so as to obtain control over other-self, or otherwise control the situation causing anger.

Control is the key to negatively polarized use of catalyst. Acceptance is the key to positively polarized use of catalyst. Between these polarities lies the potential for this random and undirected energy creating a bodily complex analog of what you call the cancerous growth of tissue."

How are you doing these days in regards to the bad mood? Did it get better after you wrote this post?