Hard Honesty

[upensmoke]

Honestly that's not the subject I was aiming towards.

I don't care how others percieve me, until their perception dictates my present level of comfort.  And while I'm comfortable ignoring my desire for comfort to be honest, there are some things you just can't be honest about to others les you're comfortable with major life changes.

sorry to misunderstand I never been in a situation where honesty would cause major life changes, but that depends on what one entity would consider major. If you don't mind me asking, could you expand more so on what you mean and is this a hypothetical question, or a personal? because i thought it was a hypothetical question at first not a personal one

I also want to add that in such a situation one should still be honest, because you can't escape change no matter what. thats just my belief

It's both, on one end there's some secrets of my own that are personal that I have not been able to tell a single person.  On the other end, I see the same thing in most people.  Something inside of them burning to be accepted by more than just them.

I have embraced honesty, that does not mean I have not also recognized that 'absolute' honesty can get you a very short distance before it messes with someone enough to have them attack you for it.  For whatever reason, maybe someone doesn't want to know the banana you're selling them is a GMO mutant that has been sitting in the back for two weeks somehow not ripening then suddenly becoming yellow and good to sell.  Others don't want to know the more private secrets of others (unless they do but only out of curiosity and not genuine care).

It's kind of like a game of cat and mouse meets a horrible math sentence:  'Where(x) is how-much(y) truth acceptable when(z)?  Find x, y, and z.'

And if someone important doesn't accept such honesty, you're sort of hosed.  It's like Dexter, seasons 7 where his sister finds out his secret.  Unless that person SRSLY loves you, it's probably not going to end well.

So why is that?  Why is honesty so hard for people to accept and perform?  Why is honesty hard?  Guilt, shame, fear, are all decent motivators, but what about when you don't care about those things towards how a particular person might perceive your honesty?  Why hold back then?

Sometimes you need to look beyond yourself as being part of all others and look at reality.  If you tell this person this, that might happen, or that might happen.  Each 'that' is a polar opposite, one is acceptance, the other is nonacceptance.

How does one be honest with someone they know is nonaccepting?  Why not just neither be honest nor lie, and leave it in silence?  On one end, or perhaps, just give up because the end result is not desired, on the other end?

How do you tell a lgbt individual with heavy christian-faith parents to be honest and accept the changes that come with it when it implies potentially being disowned and homeless before you're even 16?  (as one of the more vehemently present examples in society.  Sadly.)

I understand what your saying more so and its tough. I sometimes forget that not everyone has a confident in which they can share everything too. When me and my girlfriend were in this phase of sharing all of our deepest darkest secrets, it was extremely refreshing to tell another individual such things and still have them accept you. it gave me a sense of security, like no matter what all will be alright.

as for being honest with someone that is non accepting, I believe honesty is still the right idea. If the other person is non accepting of an entity that only thing the entity could do is accept the non acceptance or they can try to change the persons mind as well. as for someone who isn't even 16 and faces being homeless, in such a situation i would tell such an individual to endure, and plan and to withhold that information till he/she is ready to release it.