09-08-2010, 09:24 PM
I used to know the Universe was on my side. In fact I actually used it as logic to people who are much more "grounded in reality" to my detriment. And it seems they are getting a good show out of me. Proof I am insane.
As a MT (Artisan) I am I suppose more intellectually creative than I should be, because my intentions for (growth) making a better truer life for myself have been on the brink of an abyss for way too long. Causing the fear... in amounts I don't know if I can take. Although I am still here...searching for answers.
My pride..omg.
My self sufficiency almost naught.
My foundations...crumbling left and right.
And yet.... I KNOW the universe has been on my side in the past...
I had a dream the other night where I was very rude to people who were "in charge" of what was going on. I was rudely cussing at small children and everyone I spoke to. When I woke up I felt ashamed. I know my anger isn't appropriate. But I still feel it because I can't make sense of it all. It's difficult to make decisions when you are terrified.
As a MT (Artisan) I am I suppose more intellectually creative than I should be, because my intentions for (growth) making a better truer life for myself have been on the brink of an abyss for way too long. Causing the fear... in amounts I don't know if I can take. Although I am still here...searching for answers.
My pride..omg.
My self sufficiency almost naught.
My foundations...crumbling left and right.
And yet.... I KNOW the universe has been on my side in the past...
I had a dream the other night where I was very rude to people who were "in charge" of what was going on. I was rudely cussing at small children and everyone I spoke to. When I woke up I felt ashamed. I know my anger isn't appropriate. But I still feel it because I can't make sense of it all. It's difficult to make decisions when you are terrified.