Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

If its okay, I had a few thoughts on this subject, looks like a thread already exists.

Porn addiction is damaging at young ages -cough-

I was basically molested by a girl and raped by a guy as a kid, in a less forceful, more, manipulative way that I didn't really consent to but allowed it to happen.  Didn't know any better as a kid.  It led me to some odd sexual areas in my life, all of which porn exacerbated.  At remember a time in 7th grade.  I watched hentai so often I'd close my eyes and see naked women (was actually really cool to me back in the day).  I never felt guilt for viewing porn, mostly because I never stumbled upon rapey or abusive stuff but watched/read hentai or other erotic or pornographic art.  (I can has cartoon character as gf nao??).
My first crush was Helga from Hey Arnold even.  I didn't like people, but cartoons.  -Nods head slowly- mmhmm.

But i still viewed normal porn.  Then I found 4chan!  /b/ was bad.  Coming out of high school I got into.very weird areas, specifically bestiality and a bit of really weird s***.  Looking back, I realized porn trained me to find young looking girls attractive!  I was pissed when I made that connection.  Many pornos and much pornographic content is about 'barely legal', 'young', 'innocent' or such and just glorifying sex with girls who look 16 And under.

This is societal even, not just porn related.

Next to that, you have porn made for skewing sexual preference into opposites.  Androgynous body types being casted, websites 'relating' videos to further degradation of masculinity into femininity into worthlessness.  There's an entire genre of sexuality called Sissy, its hinted at in Archer a lot, and comes up in society as simply' crossdressing' and seems to separate guys who feel female (trans I believe) to guys who are female without actually being such.

And it gets weird.  A lot of porn is training to teach guys to desire to be women.  Other porn trains pedophilia. Some porn trains you to degrade women, while some overlap that degradation to include the self (See: Size Matters).

Which is also another thing, personally speaking sex wise, my ex, who hates me, would still hook.up with me.  That's how good I am according to the few girls I've been with.  Yet I'm nothing special.  But Its like a mantra, Bigger is Better.  I get the idea but its generalized to be for all, when its in reality not true for all.

Porn is a self esteem assaulter, subconscious trainer, and I personally love it because I have no sex life and am highly crazy sexually active.  I don't really care much for morality when watching it simply because its reality for many many people.   What will you do for money?   Then there's porn stars who clearly just enjoy acting crude and highly lewd (is slutty inappropriate to say???) Who personally appeal to me cause the girl who molested me acted that way towards me very often, back when I had no concept of sexuality and found her eagerness actually terrifying, I didn't want to be touched 'there' back then at all.
Now, its all I want in a girl beyond a few set things like you...you know.  Patience.  Care.  Consideration.  Kindness.  Oo OH O OH how could I forget!  Sanity

Don't care for looks, a beautiful mind is what I look for.

But sometimes as a guy I just want to feel emotional connection.  Porn is like an outlet to a really messed up side of me that I keep in lock and key until I'm alone.

My sexuality is so vastly open, I believe in love.  If two desire each other from Love, so be it.  Who am I to judge their love???

This extends even to incestuous circumstances even if I think they should adopt unless they really really want a kid, there's a soul who will willingly take the challenges of any birth defects.
Same goes for homosexuality, let lesbians inseminate.  Let them and men adopt all the homeless abandoned kids.

If an animal isn't being hurt or forced, whatever none of my business, do as you will.

Iused to be that way towards very specific older/younger relationships then I had a reality check and drastically changed those considerations of mine.  I don't believe anychild should have sex, if you love a child that way, you can wait til they're older and see if they feel the same.  But i understand many.people manipulate children or force them into those situations.  Made me realize i was part of that (probably why I didn't think much of it as an issue to start with, now, different story).

I just don't know how to make sense of the massive industry of porn.  It got me into entire genres of weirdness, hentai is dangerously such as is normal porn.  Anything stemming from US, Japan, or UK seems to be intended for skewing your preferences into other areas one would normally never come upon.

Porn teaches racism, sexism, infidelity, pedophilia, incest, degradation of a person.  The list goes on.

I'm irreparably into kinky stuff such as bondage and consensual 'forced' situations.  The only porn I have ever never questioned was female ejaculation genres until I found that leads to accepting urine in porn.  (Its hard to find a squirting porn that isn't faked inserted fluid or pee.)

I personally love art, sexual art is much better in my mind, even hentai isn't desirable as much anymore...

Society too desensitizes one to what porn is actually teaching.

As a guy who identifies closer to feminine energies, porn is bad.  And addictive.  Block that stuff, try not to let your kids watch it unimpeded...
Enough of it does mess up the mind.  Trains men to desire body parts.  Trains women to be body parts only.

Trains everyone into seperation ultimately spiritually.  Watch at your own disgression...  I was trying to quit but my imagination adds on story and adventure to sexual thoughts turned to use.  Sometimes I just want to be done and sleep like any other guy.  And sometimes my imagination can't recreate what porn does.

Hopefully I'll be able to take my own advice soon u-u
I grow weary of porn altogether more and more each day.  Its all just bad now a days.  I miss innocence being retained and real emotional connections being made in erotic works. -Sighs at open tab of porn on phone-
One day you shall be closed!  Forevermore!!

...one day when I don't desire you any longer, fake world of porn...