Wanderers have to polarize?

[Cainite]

Elros, are you saying that black magick or the manipulation of forces works better for you than harmonizing with the flow or white magic?
I have noticed the same thing.. you're like me. my and your desire to be positive might be just another selfish desire..

Jade, my fear is not being able to become harvested. I can't imagine remaining in 3d any longer. I have committed suicide before. many years ago when I wasn't worried about harvastablity. I have a strong potential to become like how Carla describes don's last days too..
so this third density world is not the best place for me and remaining here for another cycle is unimaginable

so what I'm planning with the neutrality is the idea of reaching intelligent infinity in a permanent manner so I can be harvested by choice
what do you guys think?

edit : another thing I should mention is that negative sources told me I was at the end of 4D positive before wandering here but I never trusted them to tell me the truth about such things.. I felt they wanted me to feel pity for the lost goodness that I've had! to decrease my nobility or sth