[split] My Path

[Plenum]

The truth is I have a lot of radical views of reality and in accepting that about myself I am challenged with how to embrace it while still being socially functional.

part of dealing with desires that are unfulfilled (and perhaps unfulfillable within this density), is that one may then adopt an attitude that somehow the self is deficient, in not being able to actualise those desires.

Holding the attitude (even unconsciously) that the self is deficient, can then lead to more 'severe' emotional self assessments.  From the starting point of 'the self is deficient', that can then cascade into feelings of inadequacy, then a dislike of the current self-configuration, and then self-detesting oneself because of that lack.

I am speaking more in general terms here, and not specifically to your case; but it may or may not have applicability.

One should also note that noticing a gap between one's desires and the means to fulfil them can be a great propellent to further develop and hone aspects of the self.  Which can be a great motivator!  It's just that even a slight difference in attitude can make all the difference between a positive motivating tool (encouraging) and one that is done out of a sense of 'I don't like who I am, and need to change'.

Again, not referring to you specifically