Honesty with a loving touch

[Jeremy]

So I'm grappling with this concept that is about as foreign to me as high level physics. I spoke with Austin via pm about how to change my approach when it came to communication and he noted how Carla had a wonderful ability to being honest but worded it in such a way,  that it came off as loving rather than igniting or reinforcing ones own emotional overreactions. 

My girlfriend and I just spoke about this yet can't come to an agreement because she allows herself to become emotionally invested into a given situation and will empathize with an other self without knowing the extent to which that other self is experiencing. Whereas I gather the facts first and respond with a blunt honesty. If it invokes a negative reaction within that other self,  then my job has been accomplished by exposing that which they need to work upon. 

Yet this Avenue isn't well received therefore such honesty is shrouded in a collective distaste based upon that other selves own insecurities. This baffles me to no extent because from my point of view,  I feel as if I'm not only not being myself but I'm not being honest and honesty has always been my most honored virtue. 

So it's quite clear that I need to balance love back into this equation yet am unable to find how.