What is going on, here on Earth?

[Billy]

How does one accept evil? How do you accept that not only will evil always exist but that it is an essential part of creation, without which, good could not exist and the creation could not progress? I've always struggled with that.  The idea that wars and holocausts are necessary for heavens and suns.  Without ugliness there is no beauty.  Without fear and enslavement, there is no love and freedom.  Why can’t love and freedom exist independently and of their own merit?  Why can't something just be beautiful?  Why do countless planets and lives need to be destroyed in order for their worth to be understood and appreciated? 

I just find it unacceptable that in order for me, or anyone for that matter, to be in a state of love and peace some poor soul(s) in the cosmos needs to be in a state of terror and misery, and vice versa.  In order for me to progress there needs to be someone who is stuck.  I don’t like the creation or the laws it is built on, there I said it.

For as long as there is a creation there will always be negativity, there will always be suffering and enslavement and there will always be planets like ours, and many which are even worse off. I guess you could say that it is all a choice and that is what makes it all acceptable and fair, but even after all I've read I am not convinced.  I get that I am sounding like a little child right now but so be it, in many ways I still am one.  Maybe I am just weak.

Am I starting to sound like a broken record?

No, you don't sound like a broken record.

But here's the thing.  As horrible as all that stuff seems to you.  Guess what?  It is an illusion.  A game that we are all playing.  A videogame.  We take it soooooo seriously because forgot it was a game.  But that was the whole point of the veil.  So we would take it seriously.  But after you shed your physical body, you're going to be like, "Wow, that was an interesting role I just played."  And whether you committed acts of evil, or acts of good, everyone will still take off their costume and face paint, shake hands, and say "good show."  And then you stop taking it seriously.  You see it for what it is.  And then you sort of mull it over and contemplate the sum of your experience for a period of "time", and then you do it again.

And when you die, you just reemerge into pure positive energy.  And there is no law saying a soul HAS to suffer in order for you to progress.  The aversive contrast is just a product of desire.  If you have a desire for one thing, the opposite of that has to become aversive, else the desire could not be.  The creator wants variety.  But we are the sifters and sorters and explorers of that variety.  That is our function.

And we *DO* create our own realities.  And the only power anyone has over you is to the extent that they capture your thoughts, your beliefs, and your intent.  So all the people that are concerned and focused upon manipulation, negativity, and conspiracies are just perpetuating the appearance of that reality.  And part of taking back your power is just looking for well being, and becoming a vibrational match to that, by the pure focusing on that.  You are the focusing of infinity itself, and the power that creates worlds is always flowing through you.  Learn to use it.

In my opinion Folk-love you've inadvertently imagined the world to be a more horrible place than it is.  It happens to the best of us.  

Would it terribly upset your sensibilities if I simply told you: there is nothing serious going on here.  We have all eternity to figure this out.  Everybody is doing perfectly.  Every state of development is perfect.  There is no higher or lower in the stream of evolution.  There are just stages of development.  An ape is not wrong for not being a human.  A caterpillar is not wrong for not being a butterfly.  And there is no sense getting mad at a cat for being a cat.  And everything is where it is, and there is nothing wrong with any of it.    

And all suffering will be absolutely and completely healed in the course of time.  It could not be otherwise, because all dualities are just perturbations of oneness, and unity is absolute balance.  The knot you feel in your heart is because the way you've imagined the universe is not in agreement with how the Source inside of you sees things.  

All is well.

I feel as though I have been able to internalize and believe this in the past, yet even in doing so I didn't feel any better really.  It felt rather shallow and ready to collapse at any given moment.  Maybe I just didn't do it for long enough, was insincere in my efforts or wasn't doing it correctly.  I don't know.

There is an inner conflict within me, with that conflict being that taking nothing seriously and seeing everything as a game is somewhat comforting and reassuring but at the same time there is a strong desire to take something seriously otherwise everything just seems trivial and pointless.  Taking things seriously however can very easily lead you into a state of despair and hopelessness when looking at the world and creation we inhabit.  So you can see my conflict; it's either be in a shallow state of 'peace' and 'all is wellness' or feel a deep and painful longing, sadness and despair.  I honestly don't know which one I prefer, they both suck aha.  What about a deep and lasting peace, meaning, connection and love?  It seems that that option is only available outside of this matrix or video game, as you put it.  Hence, I have a death wish as my constant companion.  

I admit though that I am afraid of love.  What if it isn't fulfilling and is ultimately disappointing?  What is left then other than annihilation?  I just can't seem to find a place in this creation to the point where I sometimes curse the creator for creating me in the first place.  There is so much more that I would like to express but I am unable to.  I can't disagree though that I am to blame for my current condition and that I need to take responsibility for it instead of blaming outside circumstances.  It's hard though.