How we make 'others' feel

[Splash]

That seems to me that if we aren't expressing ourselves according to a certain standard of 'compassion' that we are immediately considered inconsiderate. Maybe not everybody is shaped or comfortable with this or that communication style  but it seems to me that even if people try to communicate to the best of their abilities if it doesn't have the appearance of 'politeness' it is treated as 'lacking compassion', but doesnt that just create these expectant images of what 'compassionate people' communicate like?

So, on that note, how can you ever know for sure that your expression is not going to be 'taken badly'? Why assume that anybody who isn't expressing things according to your expectations of compassion is lacking in that intention?

I am just confused over the mixed views.

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I guess just to speak to how some of this makes me feel, I feel like my way of expressing myself might be looked down upon simply because I may not be as familiar or comfortable with 'sensitive' ways of speaking and to feel like I am therefore being less oriented towards service because of that feels kind of unfair. Like people who are 'obviously' being 'compassionate' automatically get the head nod but I have to prove my own compassion by mimicing the communication methods of those who are apparently 'more compassionate'?

The whole thing just seems presumptuous and derogative...

I think I see what you mean.. and what Shawnna means...

for me, the issue I've been having on and off for over 6 months with several different members is: name calling, condescension... patronising wording.... passive/aggressive replies, telling me I shouldn't reply to a thread, or shouldn't reply in a certain way to a thread....

- interactions that are clear breaches of 'politeness'...

I don't have any expectation of compassionateness... but I don't want to be written to in ways that are subtly or overtly bullying or passive aggressive...

I've experienced many of these behaviours since the end of last year (4 different user names - and 2 accounts ago) (!)... when I first joined Bring 4th

it hasn't been an easy ride for me...

I've even recently had a member accidentally send a pm (meant for another person) to me - where they were saying how much they disliked me (and another member)... and I've never received an actual heartfelt apology for that...

(this is a person who I've made efforts to be friendly and complimentary to as well...)

- fortunately it doesn't 'hurt'... because I like myself.. and people don't have to like me... but it does make interactions (plus other bullying I've experienced here) on B4 quite daunting... stressful...

so in summary... I'm actually referring to behaviours/words that are obviously negative...