Spiritual implications/reasons for gender identity crisis

[Billy]

One of my problems is that I understand that something is disrespectful and hurtful on an intellectual level yet my emotions and thoughts can run counter to that, which leaves me feeling stuck and as though my only option is to repress or distract myself.  I don't know how to approach these insensitive, hateful and prejudiced thoughts within me without instantly feeling great shame and guilt.  How does one go about expressing such views in a healthy and compassionate manner without hurting self or other?  As horrible as it sounds, I feel as though I just want to unload all my hatred. anger, disgust and resentment (towards myself and other, particularly those who don't deserve it) without being called out on it, so that I can really get to the roots of the issue.  What kind of avenue and practice do you guys use when exploring such aspects of self?  Sometimes I wish that I could just 'jump' inside another persons mind and body so that I could really and truly understand where they are coming from, not just on an intellectual level but, more importantly, on an emotional and spiritual level.  I imagine that is what things are like without the veil.  All emotions are felt and understood by everyone.  Sounds lovely.