Meditation habits and tips

[Minyatur]

Depends how present you are.

I'm not so good that I can keep a trance when there's a friend lifting my arms endlessly, trying to roll on my legs and putting his nose in my face. 

It was fun though, being on the ground is like having a flashing pannel saying disturb me to a dog. 

I sometimes feel that we have to appreciate our varying states of mind for what they are, no matter how different. For example, anxiety may be tons different than a calm, meditative state, but there's still something unique about it that the Creator no doubt thought was important enough to inject into 3D awareness.

I do agree fully, although anxiety is the worst exemple in my case. I've been much more trying to relativise other's anxiety to diminish it than experiencing it myself. I'm the god of carelessness, although I'm trying to adapt to a world with non-carefree people that take everything seriously as to not hurt anyone unawarely anymore...

I've been someone shut down emotionally for close to all this incarnation (with the exception of one person that could generate very strong emotions in the extremes in me). Two weeks ago by doing psychedelic trips, I've explored feeling very depressed and a sincere wish to die or rather to stop being, as if my soul was a cancer within me. During the whole trip with a friend I felt like that and afterward I would just lie in bed and explore the emotion for hours straight without trying to change it. Of course this is a particular case, I feel this happened because I've wondered how a singer I love felt as he was heavily alcoholic and depressive. I felt like I've experienced a window to that state. I was grateful for the experience and I think it could be related to meditation or rather contemplation of that state of mind.

During the experience which was a part of my on-going awakening process, I've thought whole heartly this was the real state of my soul, when I accepted it as part of myself it faded away and I've instead explored much more joyful emotions and other also less joyful. These trips made me realise I had no idea about the intensity that emotions can have and also their beauty.

Lately I've been doing quite a lot of exploration and contemplation of many kind of emotions through the use of drugs, and now I'm trying to re-create the process while sober. My unveiled self seems like a flux of amplified emotions beyond my wildest imagination, and god... did I it beaitufil through a window unto it. I could burst into tears having my heart broken from sympathy for another' sorrow and an instant later I would think the previous emotion was the most beautiful thing I've ever felt.

This is kind of where I want to go with meditation, to open myself to any kind of emotion and to make them a part of myself fully. It makes me realise that I was a very empty man, it makes me realise how dull my life was.