Excuses!

[VanAlioSaldo]

My excuse is always and ever fear. There is no other excuse really.

Ah,......Tan,...........NAILED IT! That is definitely my experience. 

Fear of Failure.
Fear of Rejection.
Fear of Judgement.

Can't speak for Van and don't want to derail thread. But for my part,.....you nailed it.

The biggest difference for writing a forum post is size and content.  There is a clear subject, a focus, a need to provide certain information.  Sometimes the information is...A lot and sometimes I am just round-about fearing being direct will go over people's heads.

I think Fear is a powerful excuse but part of me thinks fear is more than an excuse, it's a survival mechanism in areas.  To ignore fear is to ignore your nature as well as a Human Being, so calling Fear absolutely overall an excuse completely and no other thing as an excuse can seem odd.  An excuse can be self-recursive, simply using an excuse for the sake of using it, as an example.  However I think the true means of any excuse is avoiding.  Fear is a huge motivator to avoid, but it is also a motivator to live and learn.  Is a Fear of Spiders an Excuse to avoid Spiders?  I'd call it more of a Reason.  Whatever you use that isn't admitting that reason to avoid the Spiders is an excuse.  So perhaps saying you don't want to deal with spiders because it's hot out or the broom can't be found, perhaps it's black widows and you're worried about your health and want professionals to do it.  Maybe it's nothing more than you've never thought to brush away the webs.

The Spider is Catalyst, and the excuses are those reasons you avoid dealing with them, not the fears that spur you away as reason for avoidance.

Let me try to put this in a single clear sentence.  Do not mistake Reason as Excuse.  Sometimes the thing we use to avoid something is the exact reason, it isn't an excuse but the thing we MUST look at and be aware of to change things! A fear of spiders is not an excuse to avoid spiders, it's the core reason and the cause, a memory might be associated with that strong fear, or perhaps in the case of spiders it is natural and Human instinct to feel 'freaked out' or fear towards creepy-crawlies.  Either way, don't mistake reason for excuse.

That is a catch I failed to think of mentioning.

It's funny that you bring up taking things too seriously as I feel I do the opposite, that is not taking anything seriously and always joking, which is something I have been trying to change recently.  I too feel unproductive and that I should be doing SO much more with my time and with my life, yet things don't seem to change for one reason or another.  One possible excuse I have been using is that "there is no point in opening up to another as they won't understand me or act sensitively or maturely enough to those things which are most important to me".  I feel almost parasitic at times and that I don't contribute anything of worth or value to others and the world.  I've been meaning to start journaling regularly for the longest time now, but I just can't keep it up whenever I start.  I don't know how some people manage to write so much and so often.

The bold was me up until I met my own hell.  However, your Excuse may literally be a reason that you can work on, rather than viewing it as excuse and thus not helpful, sometimes we mistake the Reason as an Excuse and feel discouraged and think we're all messed up.  Why Am I the Way I Am?  I don't know, but there are reasons, experiences that shaped me, painted me.  The excuses are those things I put down to distract from my flaws, they're the sleeping moments where I direct awareness into unawareness sometimes without even knowing or realizing I'm doing such in order to avoid showing my own self perceived flaws to others and myself.

I agree in that I feel the exact same way with the Underlined portion.  It's just that for me I take it a step forward and get personal.  I see it as we have a choice, we choose how we are towards people.  If others will treat me badly, I'll meet them with the worst, indifference now.  I want to spread love and light, but misery and pain.  So I have to realize others don't know, don't care, and that's their right.  Others will be insensitive.  I am scared of it, I am easily hurt, I am sensitive, why can't they be more considerate or thoughtful...Or why do they not care at all?  I care about their stuff and try to respect their views, why can't they do so minimally in return?

Because they've the Free Will To Be As They Will Be.  So now it comes down to we have a reason, a reason that we thought was an excuse but can be seen closer to a Cause-Effect clause.  Something made me feel this way, and now I know it's out there and real and could happen to me again, and I don't want that, I do not desire that.  Yet, I desire to not infringe others Free Will, and do desire to be loving and thoughtful.  I have the power to make my choice.  It is my responsibility to make that choice and perform it, in this instance, allowing the universe to let others near me to hurt me in those ways that test me.  I don't want it, but it is necessary, and avoiding it yields bad results typically.  To just approach it the few times it comes, with dignity and integrity towards my self and my decisions and my desires and my actions.  When someone is insensitive, I respond honestly with consideration, 'Oh, I'm actually this/that but no worries' or along the lines of a neutral 'you just insulted me but I'm cool and understand' statements.  Of course, when they deliberately attack you, I call it FAIR GAME, and now have much more ethical freedom in my responses regarding my own karmic effects as they ARE SUBJECTIVE (Ra Quote, The Inertia of the Wheel of Karma is stopped by Forgiveness)
And then I can choose to respond in mirror (negativity and anger in return), indifference, or love (positivity and compassion in return).  With the negative or positive actions being charged with potential to polarize due to the emotionally charged situation. (Intensity counts as well, it's not said enough.)

Folk, you seem to feel a lot of things I do around the same time as I do.  -Goes to stalk your wanderer story-