Law of One vs Polarity... Law of One?

[Lighthead]

I'm not sure if others here have had this same experience. But, at least for me, why does it seem that the Law of One is easier to grasp than the concept of polarity? According to Ra, the first thing that is grasped in the lower densities is polarity, and then the Law of One. But I tend to find that the Law of One is much simpler and more meaningful. Has anybody had this feeling? Also, what is the seeming reason for this? Is it because wanderers want to jump straight into the denser material without wanting to master the basics (that have, essentially, already been mastered)?

For me, the issue of polarity is such a difficult concept to grasp. And, for me, not only is it difficult, but it seems pointless as well. I mean why do I want to concern myself with issues that are ethical? For me, I want to go beyond that...way beyond that.

Thoughts?

My opinion is that if you are a wanderer, one of the reasons you chose to incarnate here was to further refine this inability to grasp the STO path. Sure you obviously mastered enough to graduate since you wandered from a higher density but something that which you'll have to find is missing within the concept.

As far as polarity itself. Its a rather simple concept. Do you radiate or do you absorb? Do you find that in everyday life, your actions are more for personal gain or to help an other self in any way. It doesn't have to be some epiphany moment where you've brought them to some higher awareness of Self. It could be as simple as allowing someone to cross the street, getting over in traffic so someone can pull out, giving that homeless person some change, etc. Anything that you are automatically doing that is a service to an other self because once you say "oh it would be STO to help that person" it's been lost. It has to be this unconscious and unwavering urge to help an other self. I know from experience when I don't help, I get a very sad feeling almost guilt like that I didn't do something or do more for that person.

Without the grasping of this basic concept, you're basically putting the cart before the horse. Trying to master higher energy level concepts would be difficult I would think without the groundwork being laid. The reason I say this is because if you can't grasp the concept of being of service to others, you're missing a vital yellow ray springboard into green ray expression which will then lead you on up the spiral of energy. 

I'm going to absolutely blind everyone with my blue ray right now. You ready? I don't help anyone, homeless or not. The basic reason that I don't help anyone is because I don't have the means to help anyone. I'm disabled and get an absolutely meager amount of money that barely covers my expenses (the money I get doesn't really, fully cover the expenses, though). My mom has been unemployed for about three years (I live with her), so we're just basically exhausting her savings. We are extremely lucky that when she had a job, she saved as much money as possible and didn't pretend that she was rich just because she had a steady income. So if anyone needs a handout, it's me. So I don't really know where that leaves me on the STO/STS path. I'm surprised I even have the time to consider whether I am on the STO/STS path instead of lying in the fetal position stressed out about whether we're going to get kicked out on our ass. So, to put it simply, my situation is slightly different from that of most people on this forum who are contemplating their navel and thinking about the STO/STS path. Not that I don't do that as well. But what I've come to the realization of is, how I can even wonder about whether I'm STS when I don't even have a pot to piss in? I'd think that an STS person would be more well off. Am I right about that?