Learning to Love Indifference

[Stranger]

  Yes,......I remember you had that as your Sig.
 You know Tan, I pray I'm not terribly off track in the way I've come to apply the LOO to my life.

 I do still backslide in my "loving Kindness", and it bothers me so.

 Additionally I wonder about the power anger and resentment can have towards others.

 Last night , Michele was in an accident with our new truck. The thing is totaled. She is heartbroken.  

 All the day before the accident I had been very upset with her, at times to the point of true anger and
resentment.

 I now wonder if that horrible bit of backsliding anger on my part, may have contributed enough negative energy
to aid the crystallizing of the "accident potential"? 

Tan,...I hope not. I hope it was "just a broken tape deck".

mjlabadia, I think we all struggle with loving kindness - as long as we're continuing to do so in earnest, we're on the right track. Do you meditate?

Regarding the truck: I've noticed time and time and time again that when I "lose it" and end up in anger/resentment, it opens up all kinds of ugly doors for our STS friends to help me see the error of my ways. Things immediately begin to go badly. Accidents occur. Either myself or the people my anger is directed towards get hurt in weird ways.

To illustrate. I almost died once when I allowed some obnoxiously and offensively behaving kids to get a rise out of me on the train - I walked out onto the street and within the space of one city block a huge F150 truck made a left turn at full speed as I was crossing the street, and came to a sudden and complete halt lightly touching my side with its bumper. I am getting goosebumps just writing about this now. I made myself vulnerable by getting into an argument with those kids and creating total frustrated anger inside, and the beautiful entities I call my guides saved my life through an absolute miracle.

I was so shocked that I just stood there, dumbfounded, with the truck touching me, for some time. The driver of the truck was also dumbstruck.

An extreme but very illustrative example. Sorry about your truck. I've learned to see these sort of consequences of anger and resentment as very helpful catalyst.