Breaking out of shame with the help of the Law of One, Michael Teachings, and the Enn

[Questioner]

Well, I do identify with type 2. But I think it's how I formed myself in studying Ra and making 'service to others' my calling card.

Do you feel that you had this personality type before you began your spiritual studies? Or is it something that emerged in your life as a result of your studies and your choices?

I kind of 'give' what I can and then withdraw into retreats of meditation.

That sounds like a very healthy balance.

Just before reading your post, I discovered this message from Jennifer Hoffman. It seems that you might describe the same attitude as her message.

Those in your life who require your assistance on their healing journey are seeking your guidance and support because they see the light within you. Some believe that by being with you they can receive from you. Others want to learn from you. And there are those who want you to do their healing work for them. While you can participate in others’ healing, you do this best as an observer, guide and by shining your own light so they can learn how to find theirs. You cannot do enough to heal them because their healing is beyond your control.

---

But I did find the above highlighted passage slightly esoteric. Can you explain on that further?

I'll try. This particular point is more of an intuitive feeling about how things fit together, rather than a clear picture. So it is a bit hard to find a workable analogy but I'll try.

Imagine a river that has a pedestrian tunnel underneath it. At either side of the river there are steps connecting ground level with the tunnel. You can find a tunnel like this in London, for example, going under the Thames at Greenwich.

I'm going to compare this to a life's path through this 3D world. Our souls climb down to the tunnel for the walk across.

I'll now add some fanciful ideas and scenarios that are not realistic for this tunnel, but they serve the metaphor.

Imagine that some force pushes you through the tunnel. Maybe a strong fan at one side creates a breeze inside the tunnel. If you walk with the breeze it helps to push you along. If you try to turn and walk back, it creates resistance. This is like the force of time moving us ahead.

Now someone sneaks along side you and sets off a bomb. The bomb blasts a hole in the tunnel. The shock wave knocks you off your feet and through the hole. The jagged edges of the hole cause cuts as you are pushed through. This is like an extremely traumatic event that pushes your consciousness outside your body in dissociation. It could be physical pain of some massive injury. It could also be a shocking discovery that what you thought of as God is hateful or indifferent to you, and you're alone, ignored, condemned, helpless and friendless.

The nervous system and mind are overloaded, physically and metaphysically. You get disconnected from your own life, like a fuse melting to prevent the house from burning down.

But it is not our time to leave the tunnel. We have more walking to do. We can't stay in the water. We can't get to the top. Even if we wanted to, the weight of the water pushes us back down to the tunnel, and we are carried back in through the same hole that blasted us out.

The water starts to flow into the tunnel through the hole. You get sucked back into the tunnel. As you're pushed back into the tunnel through the hole, its jagged edges might cut you again. The fan's air pressure is strong enough to overcome the water pressure and keep further water out of the tunnel. This may not be accurate in terms of physics but I'm trying to make an analogy to how our spirit gets pushed back into our body timeline if it's not our time to leave the tunnel.

Now there are several aspects of the situation that need to be fixed.
First, whoever brought a bomb into the tunnel should be kicked out and not allowed back. Whoever brought the message of doom, that claimed we are not the object of God's love and affectionate care, needs to not be allowed to set off that bomb again.

Second, our wounds need tending.

Third, the air pressure keeps the water from flooding into the tunnel, but the hole edges are sharp with debris. The debris needs to be removed, the bricks around the hole need to be removed so the sharp debris edges aren't there, and then the hole needs to be patched.

This is like the emotional healing process of fully acknowledging the pain of the separation, the harm of the damage done, and then connecting with the true love of God to patch up the damage done to the integrity of our own boundaries and existence.

Fourth, the water that came in the hole, and the debris brought along with it, all needs to get mopped up. It can make our path slippery.

Suppose that the hole is not fixed. Normally, we can keep on going forward through the tunnel with some inconvenience from the water that spilled in. But then, farther along our route, another bomb gets set off. Again, we're blown out of the tunnel. There is already the leaky hole from back towards the start of the tunnel. We are sucked back in through that earlier hole, again getting cut up, and then blown forward back to our current spot in the timeline. In this way, when someone is cruel, harsh, unloving, unkind, we relive the original injury of separation from God.

Unfortunately, someone in an abusive childhood, abusive relationship, abusive job, abusive political dictatorship, etc. gets holes blown in their integrity on a daily basis. This area of the tunnel gets riddled with holes. Water rushes in. Even if they get past the minefield, later in life, any explosion will get them sucked right back into that mess of primal pain, bounced inside and out of the tunnel a few times amid all that previous pain and then shoved back into their present moment. As this happens, someone who's a suffer of post traumatic stress or another trauma disorder starts fighting for their life, on the basis of triggers that seem utterly harmless to others.

Another metaphor might be a steam radiator. A boiler supplies steam under pressure. The steam is forced through a pipe that winds back and forth, so the heat escapes into the surrounding air. Suppose a nail gets into the system. The pressure will blast the nail through the bend in the pipe, and the steam under pressure will escape. Now suppose the whole radiator is inside some containing box. The nail bounces around inside the box and pokes another hole going back into the radiator. Now there is another leak. Until all the holes are fixed, starting at the earliest one closest to the boiler, steam will continue to spurt out.

I realize these descriptions may be a bit unrealistic in terms of physics, but maybe they help convey what I had in mind.