A Healthy Introvert?

[Plenum]

cheers Ashim.

From the beginning of my career I have always had to make presentations or give training to groups of people, which I found enjoyable, not in the least uncomfortable. I was however playing the role of teacher, so the interaction with the group was sort of bias toward me acting as 'controller'.
In the evening I mostly wanted to be alone and found company hard going.

I think most introverts would feel that way. That they are comfortable in performing a well defined social role (usually part of work), but are less interested and less engaged when it comes to small-talk and interfacing with others they don't already have a strong personal bond with.

- -

Needless to say I also have a strange effect on others too. I tend to be aggressive toward other males - my neigbour looked me in the eyes a few weeks ago and said;

"You...you..are an EVIL person"

Asked what prompted this insight his answer was,

"The way you LOOK at me".

lol.

Actually, that's something I've had to address a little in myself just recently. How I view/engage with the so-called 'alpha male' type. Definitely have felt a sense of intimidation and not-being-good-enough when around those types in the past.

- -

Some people make me sick. I know that sounds harsh but it is a fact.
At some stage folks just forget about you and you stop getting asked out to events, parties etc.
There was a transitional stage where I felt obliged to attend family events and stuff but it did not take long to get to the stage where I could no longer force myself. I had to tell folks that I simply did not enjoy company.

So the net result is: I think people are a draining bore; they think I am as mad as a hatter. Nature at work.

I did the whole social isolation thing for many a year. I needed the insulation to do the inner work that I needed to do. It was also about allocation of time. I just prioritised the inner seeking above social connections.

I'm probably a bit open to family events these days.