Is your current job/career helping you polarize?

[Jade]

Well, my knife's blade is double-edged. I work in the SERVICE industry (as does 10% of America now - I am a waitress), so my job is literally serving other people's every whim. However, the Buddha (and truly myself deep down) probably doesn't approve of the fact that I serve alcohol and dead animals to people. I have my justifications - I almost exclusively recommend vegetarian dishes, and our restaurant is actually fairly upscale with very small portions - tapas - so there is very little waste compared to a lot of places I've worked. Also, I accept that if a different human were standing in my shoes that the person ordering food would still be ordering that lamb pizza, so I brush it off as less in my control.

Is your job or career helping you polarize in STO?

Yes, very much so. My job is a gift because I come in contact with a few hundred people each shift. When I'm at my best I'm able to radiate a smile full of love to most everyone. Ultimately, my job is to give people a positive experience where they leave feeling fulfilled - not just full. Each table is different and desires a different personality from me. It's a constant challenge. I work in a team environment and I absolutely LOVE almost all my coworkers, so I get to be a lot of help to them, as well, which I love.

What catalysts are the most present in your current occupation?

YELLOW-RAY! Working as a server offers some serious yellow ray catalyst. Most people see my profession as unskilled and menial, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Sometimes people are very condescending and think the word 'server' is the same as 'servant' and it can get a bit demeaning at times.

I also have this problem with repeating catalyst in my workplace, involving learning the lessons of the light touch, as Ra would call it. At work, I usually give 110%, and I'm a very fast paced worker in general. This makes me a valuable asset, but it also makes me relied upon too much - at this point, we are very understaffed and I've been working 10-15hrs a week more than is good for my own personal sanity. This has actually be a chronic problem at my job, for the 6 months I've worked there. I also don't complain so I end up getting the extra shifts and the worst sections because I try not to let things like that sour my mood as others do. I've also had to take a step back and stop just blanket-helping everyone even when they don't really need it. Doing other people's job for them is actually a disservice. Hard lessons abound!

Do you work to live or of live to work?

At this point, I work to live. I try to live to work but I'm really quite burnt out on serving tables at this point. I get pointless anxiety about going into work. It's a bummer. However, we have to move within a few months (out of state) so there is a 'light' at the end of the tunnel. Also I've been doing this to support both me and my husband while he finishes his novel. The dream is once that is done that it could maybe mostly support us until the next one is finished! Either way, after the move, I will most likely not be working in food service unless it's something more ethical (like a juice bar or something!)