Why I am not a vegan

[Unbound]

My feedback system with myself doesn't really work in this way. When I recognize that another choice would have been wiser it usually comes with a sense of "D'uhh", rather than any sense of guilt over having taken the "wrong" action. I always acknowledge that my taking the "wrong" path was revealing to me the truth of myself towards the choices. That being said, sometimes I continuously take the "wrong" path and meet the same reminders, then over time I eventually am conscious enough to choose another way.

Have you ever had someone close to you die, especially unexpectedly (eg: sibling, wife)? (Not someone old.)

Yes, one of my best friends was killed, hit by a drunk driver. The sorrow and pain I felt then has absolutely no resemblance to guilt or "remorse".

Perhaps you had nothing to regret. You sound as though you are more at peace, as you say, with who you are and what you do. When my brother died (suicide, many years ago), the pain and sorrow were immense. But I still get twinges of guilt for any and all the immature or thoughtless things I did or didn't do. I don't feel guilt because I fancy I could have stopped him; I honor his choice.

I have had a couple of close friends die as well, but they did not make me feel guilt. Perhaps it was because my brother and I had family history.

There was no regret, no, only confusion. I guess for myself it seems like a waste of energy to beat myself up over this or that thing that may or may not have happened and instead I have just done everything I can to honour the time and lessons we had and learned together. I will always consider him a guiding force in his life.

Death is not about me, or anybody, it is about the person facing that great transition in to the beyond and no other. He made his journey and though I may not understand it, I know that when the time for Death to take a soul apart from its body it is never in error, even though it may be surrounded in sorrow and tragedy.

I must confess that I am not very much a "light" individual in many ways. Death, being a tangible absolution, just as Life, is something I hold deep respect for. I cannot ever profess to totally know its ways. Only the One does so.