Things starting to go wrong for some unascertained reason.

[ScottK]

I think it is a petrifying fear of not doing things right. For instance, I feel I should tell this woman about her husband. I worry that if I don't do it then I am acting in a service to self manner.

To me, this is definitely the type of question that we are here to experience. Its answer lies directly in the middle of a gigantic grey area, where each of us need to make our own decisions on and experience the results.

All that anyone can do is "the best they can" with these types of things, and there's definitely no correct answer. "service to self" would only come into play if you were using the decision to prop yourself up in some way..