Depression?

[isis]

I told my stepmom how I was feeling and she said "Tom get that suicidal out of ur head".

I don't have a good control over my thoughts. They stream up from my subconscious.

But there must be a reason I keep having them. And sometimes they can last a minute while I dwell on them.

My therapist says I'm not supposed to feel manic, that it is bad. So I'm not supposed to feel good.

imo, it's ok to think/fantasize about suicide; it's just something to think about that makes u feel good. imo if u kno in your heart that u'd never do it then u should feel free to think about it all u'd like if that brings u comfort

endings are a good thing

imo suicide is a blessing. i can imagine a reality where there's no such thing - where having the option to kill yourself wasn't an option...imo a lot animals are in that predicament & we are all in that predicament at 1 point in our lives: in infancy...some things are best forgotten...

i'm thankful i'm currently in a reality where i get to kno (or at least think) there's an exit that i can go thru anytime i'd like

haha i basically wrote that suicide is a holy act then that u should only let yourself think about it if u have no plans of actually doing it...so, correction: imo i think it's ok to think about it even u are planning on it

---

I wouldn't want to repeat 3D. That's what mainly keeps me from it. Plus I don't want to hurt my loved ones. What you say is good. I get chills of excitement from such thoughts. Knowing I'm not trapped. But I don't think I would ever act on it. Still, they are enticing thoughts. I've only discussed this with my therapist. I don't recall what he says.

can't kno for sure u'll have to repeat 3d