Tried Everything

[Stranger]

I've called out to Ra, to my spirit guide, to my social memory complex. To mother Earth. To myself. I've tried meditation, different kinds. Some visualizing, some silent. I've called out to my higher self, and to the Logos. I've visualized myself being rocked to sleep in a woman's arms, while she sings to me.

But nothing can help me find that inner peace that I am looking for. To where my energy isn't worn out. Honestly I am exhausted from being here. I've gone out in nature, laid under the stars. I've prayed to God. I've told negative entities to get out of my field, and called in Christ energy to help cleanse me. But nothing works. I am physically worn out. Mentally tired. I've served others when I can. And I try to tend to my needs.

What can I do when nothing else works? I've tried laughing, but that only works for a moment, and only when I find something funny. I think maybe my meds make me groggy. My body hurts it's so tired. And it's hard to hold a thought.

I am not plagued by negative thinking, but my thoughts just don't fulfill me. I'm thinking I want to get to the state of no thought. I want to rest on a higher plane.

Gemini, whenever there is dissatisfaction, it indicates imbalance, a lack of harmony. In our truest nature, we are even now in ultimate peace and love. Our personality blocks out certain aspects of the pure rainbow of being, and we are left consciously experiencing only a small subset of the total love that is our true self.

So I ask you to consider those things in your life which may be out of balance for you. Aspects of yourself or your situation which you have not yet faced, or have faced but haven't accepted. If we are fighting against (resenting, disapproving) or ignoring aspects of reality, we can't feel at peace. If we can't feel at peace, we can't feel the inner love that brings joy into our lives.

A vital aspect of reality that must be accepted is yourself, since you are present with yourself every waking moment. Kindness and a compassionate approach toward yourself is therefore absolutely essential, including kindness and acceptance toward the aspects of yourself and your experience which you would prefer not to have. Especially towards those aspects, in fact!

Loving-kindness and acceptance are truly the super balm of this Universe. It is possible to find this energy in any circumstances. I find it supremely helpful to view any apparently negative experience, first and foremost, as an exercise of my ability to find love. Everything else is illusory, but if you can find love in a tough spot, that resonates down to the very core of your total Being. And it brings you joy at the same time.

Best of luck to you, dear Gemini. Keep working at it and don't give up. Our entire purpose in this life is not to escape it, but to find heaven and bliss within in. It may seem impossible, but rest assured that it is always, always there waiting to be found.

I am asked to add this message for you: There is a great deal of love for you, love that is unconditional and joyous. You are being carried on the wings of angels through your difficulties, and many, many entities who care are there rooting for your success.