Tried Everything

[xise]

To live in the present moment, do you have to be perpetually aware of your inner body, as Eckhart Tolle puts it. He mentions that as you place more and more attention on your inner body, it's vibrational frequency increases comparatively.

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In my opinion, you haven't tried things that could help. You have tried a lot, but you've missed some very important and frankly non-esoteric/spiritual ways of dealing with red/orange/yellow. I've suggested before trying out new activities in life so you start to find something you love, trying to find activities where you start to value yourself and love yourself more, standing up to your mother, and socializing more in groups (meetup.com). From your op, I'm not sure you have tried these. These activities may or may not be helpful for you. I can only tell you they were essential to my journey, in combination with my belief work.

This is where I believe I have done most of my work in the last few years or so. I've tried volunteering as well attending meetup groups, all for the purpose of being more comfortable around others and lessening my social anxieties (yellow ray I believe). But even with this work done I still often feel how Gemini describes. Always left wanting more. I feel like there is nothing I can't do in my life, and even though there is still some aversion to certain things, I can build up the strength to face these things. I still suck at socializing haha but I can do it if it is necessary. Im wondering if this shows a blockage. Does having a balanced yellow ray mean that you enjoy all social interactions without any discomfort or strain? Or does it mean you can socialise if need be, but that doesn't necesarily mean you will enjoy the interaction. If I want to talk with someone, I can do it. With all this said, of course I am closer now to where I want to be. Just wish things where a little clearer.

I can't speak for you, but I can say one thing I've noticed.

A significant amount of people in social situations have yellow ray blockages. Only those with extremely powerful yellow rays or identical personality/interests can generate excitement from these individuals. So realize that some of what you might be experiencing is in fact talking to people who also have yellow ray blockages, and that you'll feel them, and talking to them will feel draining for both parties.

A decent test is socializing with people who enjoy socializing. This isn't always easy to find. But you'll start to notice their energy - their enjoyment - is contagious, and that usually these types of people are very good at finding the commonalities between interests and personalities between you and them or themselves and the group and can bring out enjoyable interactions very easily. These types of people are a bit harder to find on meetup, but are certainly possible.

I used to think that I didn't enjoy socializing, but I came to realize it was mainly as a result of my own blockages in yellow, and as a result of the blockages of people I interacted with. The more I started to clear my own remaining blockages and also hang out with people with less blockages, the clearer this all began. And don't forget red and orange blockages also significantly affect yellow ray interactions, so they really do build upon one another. It's very difficult to learn yellow ray without doing the requisite red and orange work. Perhaps that might be an area of focus for you Folk-love.

And Folk-love, we all experience what GW experiences; it's a matter of degree. My degree, and even your degree of feeling unfulfilled are dramatically less than others. It's important to acknowledge that as we figure out how well we flow with our experience and how we can better learn the ways of love.