Reluctant Wanderer

[third-density-being]

Hello Dear Csohan,
(I permitted myself to put together first letters of your entire nick. I hope You don't mind)

First of all Thank You for Sharing your Story.

It is indeed very interesting memory of less than 1 year old infant to say/think to Him Self "OK, I made it. I'm here". Intriguing I would say.
As I see it, this is/was needed for You "stimuli" to give You enough sense of "mystery" to not close your Self entirely to "the unknown" (in terms of this/Our physical reality/density).

Even though my words below may be in some parts simply crazy for You, I would like to emphasize, that I, myself, was not so long ago an orthodox atheist and materialist. All "spiritual" and "non-material" stuff/things/matters were for my simply a stupidity of those whom were interested in it. It was ridicule for me, while I had my "certainty" of "how things really are". Please keep that in mind while reading what comes next.

I've read your story twice to be sure I've understood it correctly. Now I can write, that in my opinion your "previous" existence were of non-material nature. If so, it is truly pointless to try to "remember" anything, because in this physical reality We simply have absolutely no necessary concepts/labels/words not only to understand, but even to describe such existence. Information, that in previous existence You were made of light may suggest that You are of sixth density (same as Ra, who, as He/They stated it Him Self / Them Selves - became light/love).

Your memories of You as an infant that thinking to Him Self: "OK, I made it. I'm here" may be translated as reaching proper focus to "close" your Self in this narrow reality (which in fact physical environment is). For some reason it was your goal to get here and I'm guessing it was an important one for You.
I think that your "breadcrumb trail" will lead You eventually to Awakening and realizing why You are here - and it's quite clear that there is a reason - that You had a reason to came here.
Who knows? Maybe You've already accomplished it in an unconscious state (while not-knowing the goal/reason for your presence here). Maybe not. It is only for You to determine - I'm afraid no One can "tell You" this. It is for everyone to discover on Their own (unfortunately - or not).

Getting back to: "OK, I made it. I'm here". Word here may not refers to "space" but to part of your Self. According to my current understanding, space is a mental and psychic Event. That means that You've reached desired state "focus of Consciousness" to be able to manifest your Self in this Illusion, in which many developing Consciousnessess are dwelling and which is for Them the only known reality/plane of existence.
Also information that You were involved in Lemuria somehow may suggest, that You've exerted an influences with consequences that in your opinion (as your Whole, unveiled Self) it required your "intervention" here and now. This of course is only my imperfect guess.

As in every case of experience beyond this physical illusion, meditation is invaluable method of communicating with Our true/Whole Self. I'm wondering if You are meditating and if yes, how often and what feelings do You have while doing that.
If You're not meditating, I would recommend it - especially that Ra underlined its importance many times, as basic "Work with Self" - in fact this is a foundation for Work with Self (as I understood it).
It surely will make "breadcrumb trail" more clear to You.

Please remember, that You - as well as Everyone here, native third-density-Beings included - are an immortal, non-material Being. Everything You are experiencing here, in this reality is merely a three-dimensional reflection of far Greater/Deeper/Wider events in your Whole Self. Your current experience is not "total" - it is only a glimpse of what is really happening in your Self. Therefore please keep being Open for all thoughts, feelings and for all that which do not have a name/label in this reality, but may appear in You. Do not judge, just allow your Self to experience.


All above is of course only my opinion and it should be treated as such.

All Best I have in me for You