(07-02-2010, 10:25 AM)Richard Wrote: The reason people try to help out behind other backs is that they know that someone’s pride is standing in the way of a loving gift. In a more perfect world, we should be able to lay aside our ego in times of need and appreciate gifts of love. Being human though, we attach conditions to things offerred. Being human, we also, unfortunately attach conditions when offerring gifts of love.
So we, invariably, dance around ego’s and feelings. Perhaps the question to self sould be…”Why do our other selves feel the need to secretly help?”….”What is standing in the way of an open gift?” The answer is usally in the mirror.
That said…I would put no conditions on re-payment. Just tell them that you were glad to help and that you think they’d do the same if the situtations were reversed. If they insist…and the money isn’t an issue?...donate it to their church or another charity.
Richard
I agree with this point entirely, an excellent perspective.
This is something I have experienced personally within my close relashionships. My partner, who's parents shall we say were less generous than my own, would get offended and frustrated when my father would ask to give her (or more specifically us, as a household) a gift.
Rather than accept the gift with gratitude (two key definitions of love in that statement), the response would meet heated opposition and sometimes anger. The fear being that she was not in control of her life, in this context, financially. Also heavily linked as Richard mentions, to pride (fear-based again).
This is indeed a blockage in the lower rays, and due to the fear based reactions, in the form of service to self.
The situation has now been cleared, moments of generosity are accepted with much gratitude, appreciation and love, which in turn, gifts my father with that in return.