Greetings from the Dark

[Stranger]

I think an underappreciated part of the STS path is that it is literally hell. Imagine spending a near-eternity (in human terms) filled with loathing, disdain, and rage, all the while clinging to the delusion that your objects of loathing are something other than yourself. Imagine living in a society where everyone, without a single exception, is also exactly the same: hates you, sees you as either an obstacle to their own power or as a pawn to be used for their own gain - or both. To have not a single kind soul to help you when you're suffering without an ulterior motive. To have to sow suffering and misery among others simply to feed.

It evokes compassion, but they can't even accept others' love without first poisoning it with negative energy to dilute it.

When I've had interaction with these entities (and I don't mean incarnated humans), they are filled with hatred and rage. They growl. They are burning up from the inside with their own hatred in the way that the Buddha described.

One day a man said to God, “God, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.”
God showed the man two doors. Inside the first one, in the middle of the room, was a large round table with a large pot of stew. It smelled delicious and made the man’s mouth water, but the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. God said, “You have seen Hell.”
Behind the second door, the room appeared exactly the same. There was the large round table with the large pot of wonderful stew that made the man’s mouth water. The people had the same long-handled spoons, but they were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.
The man said, “I don’t understand.”
God smiled. It is simple, he said, Love only requires one skill. These people learned early on to share and feed one another.