Wanting Our Own World

[Unbound]

I wonder if Kel'Ir was wiser and more powerful than I was when I was part of his family on the other side of the veil.
I don't want to disappoint him, or make him sad for the way I feel.
I want to be a joy in his life.
Is his only job to watch over me? I wonder how he has fun.
I don't want to be a burden to him.
But I just can't feel his love.

He is here to teach you trust and faith, as well as be a companion, friend, guide, teacher and eventually, student. Look at all you have said here, you doubt yourself and do not trust yourself because you are looking for confirmation. You must have faith, that is the lesson here.

You must understand, from where you come from "wiser and more powerful" isn't really something you are concerned with. What you must understand is that there is no way you can disappoint him because he has no expectation of you. He isn't all-powerful nor is any being but he is very self-aware and he is positively polarized so you can rest assured that he is forgiving of you and only wants good things for you. Remember it takes time to get to know people and build a connection and this is true for us with our guides as well.

Although we are very close on other levels, to make a conscious connection is needed to open up to the direct access to talking with our friends, which is what guides really are, are friends and family. Well, unless one has a negative guide, but that is a little different.

It will take time, you must be patient my friend. He is completely non-judging towards you, so put that fear from your mind.

He says that you can try to talk to him more directly by first visualizing him and saying his name and just first building a feeling of his presence. Then you can start to talk to him and use the image of him as a representation of him to talk through.