"The experience of no need to find the necessary emolument."

[Ankh]

I've been wondering where I would post this, whether it would be in a new thread which I would create, or somewhere else, but since this discussion is the one which triggered both the catalyst, analysis of it, and perhaps now the transformation, I decided to post it here.

What I will tell now is highly personal, and I am going to be completely open about it, "without hesitation".

For 13 years I've been together with my husband, before we divorced. In the beginning, when he just moved to Stockholm, he moved to a place which I owned, and where already couple of other girls/friends lived. We viewed our home, at that time, as some sort of collective where our motto was "mi casa, su casa", which means "my home is your home". We tried to share everything with each other, in what I now believe was a pure wanderer spirit. When T, my future to be husband, moved in there, he was of the same thinking, but he didn't have any job nor education to pay even the rent. And so I paid it for him, cause I fell in love, and I knew in my heart he was a decent person who would rather die than screw me in any way. And indeed, he got a what some here would call a "slave" job, but he started to earn some money, and bring them home, to us all. During this time, him and I got together and became a couple.

Fast forward, after being together for 13 years, getting married, and getting a child, we divorced...

So I started to date other guys. And there has been different entities, and different distortions, each of them shocking me in different ways...

In order to tie this back to the original topic of this thread, my mom told me once, not so long ago actually, some few very wise words. She said something like: "Lana, you got lucky with T! He is that kind of person who will never screw you or anyone in any way. If you would give or pay anything to him, he would double this up, and pay it back twice, if not more. And you are just like him. You would never screw anyone either. If someone would give you or pay anything for you, you would just give them back twice if not more. So you both got very, very lucky when you met each other. But you are also naive (that happened when I experienced a certain catalyst of dating a guy who was not like T), and you think that everyone are like T. They are not! You need to wake up and see people as they are!"

Some time after that I met a person who became my best friend just in a matter of couple of days or weeks. After a very short time, it felt like we have known each other our whole lives. This person, let's call her A., has taught me how to accept and love all people, all catalyst, and all things *in real life*! This far, I have only been reading this in the Ra material, trying to practice in manifestation, but I have never seen any physical person doing it! I have been having just theorical knowledge without actually ever meeting a person who would show me *how*. And there she came! An amazing, glorious wanderer woman, who just had it in her nature, without reading a single word in the Ra material! How about that...

I have known her for over a year now. But in order to once again tie this to the topic of this thread, she has a trait which has both fascinated and upset me.

She has an ex-hubby with lots of money, like I do, but she thinks that it is completely ok to demand him to buy things both for their daughter, and for herself personally, and her new family with her new husband, or just simple ask him for money, because he has more than her...?

In the beginning, I was completely opposed to it, thinking that no matter how little I have, I will not ask for money from another self, regardless of how much money this other self has. Buuuut with time, after spending alot of time with her, and listening to her arguments which sounded more and more logical, I started to incorporate more and more of her "philosophy" in this regard. It started to make sense to me in some way?

I get so little compared to my ex-husband, so why shouldn't he pay for this...? and that...? and this...? and that...? and with time it turned into more and more... Not to the point of complete negativity, where I was draining him, but still to the point of him paying for things that I would never consider him to pay for before....

Now, to the main question, is this "right" or is this "wrong"? He didn't suffer from it, so it *can* continue, so why not to continue this?

Well, as we know, there is no right or wrong. What is proper distortion for one, is improper distortion for another. So my unique, personal, answer to this is that this lies completely within each mind/body/spirit complex. What Adonai One finds acceptable, I find unacceptable. What my friend, A finds acceptable, again I find unacceptable.

This catalyst has been slowly growing inside of me, and now I think I found myself! I will now go back to my former self, demanding *nothing* from my wonderful ex-husband, no matter how much money he has, and going back to what I find joy in, and that is *giving*, not receiving!

I have always found joy that even when I have so little money, I buy expensive gifts for my ex-husband for instance (and they are expensive not because of showing off the money it costed for me for him, but simply because he enjoys expensive stuff, so I buy what he likes because I know he will like it, not becasue they are expensive). And I pay everything back to him, would he ever need to help me out with anything sometimes. And he does the same.

So thank you, my best friend A, although you will probably never read this post, and thank you, Adonai One and vervex, for this amazing and needed catalyst of finding myself, and dare I even say a *magical* catalyst of showing me who I am!

I love you all! Thank you.

And there is even a Ra quote about this:

"All are the Creator. There is one vast panoply of biases and distortions, colors and hues, in an unending pattern. In the case of those with whom you, as entities and as a group, are not in resonance, you wish them love, light, peace, joy, and bid them well. No more than this can you do for your portion of the Creator is as it is and your experience and offering of experience, to be valuable, needs be more and more a perfect representation of who you truly are."

The thing is that Ra talks about a negative entity in the above piece, but in third density people don't need to be of negative orientation, they can just be of an orientation which is simply not of a resonance with your own path. With time, and patience, perhaps, one can accept their choice (what other choice do we have than acceptance?), but you can just simply say "love and light and peace, brother/sister" and move on to a vibration which is of more resonance, or more of a "representation of who you truly are". Another quote that I thought of was this:

"The seeker seeks the One. This One is to be sought, as we have said, by the balanced and self-accepting self, aware both of its apparent distortions and its total perfection. Resting in this balanced awareness, the entity then opens the self to the universe which it is. The light energy of all things may then be attracted by this intense seeking, and wherever the inner seeking meets the attracted cosmic prana, realization of the One takes place."

Peace, love, light and joy, my brothers and sisters.