The question of Appropriateness

[xise]

This thread direction toward discussing mental health issues is timely.

Although I'm basically over my struggle with BDD, I still have one occasional bad day every few months (go back two years, and we were talking weekly).

I've talked about how I believe it involved self-acceptance, and self-power, but I've never felt immediate energy feedback in an energy center when contemplating bdd thoughts. At least not noticeably. I never really pondered why, but it was curious when other thoughts such as "I'm a failure" "I'm irresponsible" "I'm stupid" immediately created pain and discomfort in the sacral area. The BDD thought of "I'm ugly" did not. I had the thought, but maybe I didn't believe it at some level - I know my logical mind did not due to what my friends said, dating success, etc, etc.

Today, as I was pondering last week's "bad" day (the first in months), I realized that it came at a time when I was facing severe issues of self-acceptance in other areas. Namely, not potentially getting into a business school that I desired.

I now believe that my BDD is a secondary distortion or manifestation of other issues rather than being a primary distortion. The primary distortion in this case being my general lack of self-acceptance that manifests in this OCD spectrum disorder in my particular case.

I believe it's similar to how when Ra talks about when spiritual catalyst it is not accepted it manifests as mental and bodily catalyst. An example that Ra talks about is red ray imbalances of anger which can manifest as cancer. Cancer being related to anger doesn't seem directly related at first impression to someone not familiar with the concept, but the connection makes sense. I believe my BDD is related to my general issues with self-acceptance in the same way. I believe that I have also received tentative guidance that this may be the case. More thought and exploration is needed. Crazy stuff.